Episode 14: What lies in the dark

The audio of this episode can be found directly here; https://tailsfromthedarkdragonsinn.co.uk/campaign-episode-14/

You can find a ‘live transcript’ of the below here; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BA69VxUYxSU

This transcript is colour coded for ease of use. Please download the PDF.

Tobe as played by Liz

Myx as played by Nina

Mhurren as played by Vinny

Narrator/Erbak/Scraw/GM/Everything else as played by Ray

[Audio Description]

{Tone Guide/Sarcasm etc}

Ray: Hello, and welcome to Tails from the Dark Dragons Inn, Episode 14: What Lies in the Dark. This week, a quick aside. There’s some very minor audio peaking you may notice throughout the episode. It’s not that noticeable, but due to the way the system is recorded, I can’t do much more to resolve it. It is, however, an anomaly in this recording and does not reoccur in future episodes. This week, we’re also down a member as Tom took a brief vacation break. We decided to plow on ahead anyway, and so Erbak is being puppeted this session. Otherwise, we still have Vinny as Mhurren, Liz as Tobe, Nina as Myx, and I’m Ray, and I play, well, just about everyone else.

Host: “Good evening, and might I say, you look lovely tonight. I feel like we’re old friends at this point. The way the story unfolds each week, I feel like I’m right there in the thick of it, don’t you?”

Evangeline: “Tonight is the start of something, or was it the end? They are so often one and the same that it can be hard to tell. But if you listen closely, you’ll hear the exact moment when everything shatters, when we learn what lies in the dark.”

Erbak: You were debating over whether or not to explore the other cavern or to send someone ahead to do so. And the doctor, I believe is standing right, “Look. I just think the logical thing is for us to go and pick off the mushrooms from the distance and they’ll be easy. They can’t move very quickly. We’ll be able to kill them and then we’ll be able to get through that way. I think if the dragon progeny is here, then it’s probably somewhere in this cave and if there’s a lot of guys that way, then we could probably get by going this other way.”

Tobe: “So, you’re … Are you suggesting that the mushroom path might loop back around to somewhere?”

Erbak: “Well, I mean, it goes further in, so it’s a rational assumption to make, I assume? I mean, we want to go further. The mushrooms are very easy to kill. I think we should just kill them.”

Mhurren: At this point in time, we’re still on that …

GM: You’re still hunkering down in the tunnels just before the fork.

Mhurren: “Well…”

Myx: “I’m all for the plan of trying the mushroom route, because let’s face it, I don’t think we’re in a position to face a room full of whatever.”

Mhurren: “I mean …”

Tobe: “As hesitant as, as I am to go back that way, {laughs} and relive the nightmare, I have to agree. I don’t think we could handle what’s up ahead.”

Mhurren: “Whilst we’re here, would it not seem fair to poke our heads into the other path, see where that leads?”

Myx: “I mean, if you want to. You’re, you’re welcome to.”

Tobe: “Well, he’s got a point. Like, there’s a split in the path and we’re here now. We might as well at least check out the other side.”

Mhurren: “What if it leads to the prisoners or even the progeny?”

Myx: “What if it’s a room full of 30 guards? Then what do we do?”

Tobe: “Well, we could just do what we just did with that path. Send your new little friend down the other side as well.”

Mhurren: “I mean, I could go take a look. I’ll try not to get caught.”

Myx: “It’s okay. We can definitely send Darconius. Darconius?”

Darconius: “Yeah?”

Myx: “Would you be willing to go back down the tunnel for us?”

Darconius: “Well, I suppose. The same one?”

Myx: “Uh, the other one, sorry, sorry.”

Darconius: “Yeah, it doesn’t seem like it made a lot of sense.”

Myx: “We want to know what’s at the end of it. We’re potentially looking to see if that’s where the prisoners are, the missing ones or if perhaps there’s a dragon?”

Darconius: “Um, if there’s a dragon, I probably don’t want to go on my own. Do you want to come with me?”

Myx: “Uh, I, uh, I …”

Darconius: “Dragons are really scary.”

Myx: “I know. I’m not as small as you, though.”

Darconius: “Fine. I’ll go on my own, I guess.”

Myx: “I promise. If you, if you see what you think is a dragon, um, then just abandon and just come back. Let us know.”

Darconius: “Okay.”

Myx: “But, also, if it’s a very small dragon. Don’t worry as much.”

Darconius: “Right. I’m much smaller than a very small dragon.”

Myx: “Well …”

Darconius: “Anyway …” And he just jumps down off your shoulder again and trots away and he gets to the fork and you see him split off in the other direction than the one that was previously explored. You are just sitting with your friends in the corridor waiting and Darconius is like, “It’s really dark in here. I don’t see much. {gasps} What’s that?! Oh, it’s much bigger than I am. Oh! I think it’s a dragon. I’m running away!” He comes sprinting around the corridor and he slams into your leg and climbs up your back and huddles. “I think it was a dragon, I’m pretty sure. It had a scary face.”

Myx: “What did it look like?”

Darconius: {frustrated} “It had a scary face!”

Myx: “Um, did it have wings?”

Darconius: {yelling and adorable} “I don’t know! It had a scary face! It was much bigger than me and it was all curled up and it had a scary face! And I don’t like it! I’m not going down there on my own again!”

Myx: “Curled up? Can, can you …”

Scraw: “Does what have wings?”

Myx: “Uh, he ran away because he thinks he saw a dragon. He said it had a big …”

Scraw: Scraw’s face lights up.

Tobe: “{laughs} Why did you say that? You could have just said that he saw something scary! {laughs}”

Myx: “{whispering} I don’t know!”

Scraw: {excitedly} “Scary is good. I think we should go that way.”

Tobe: “Hold fire.”

Myx: “I think that we should, but not all of us. I think we should send one of us to scout ahead.”

Scraw: “I’ll go.”

Tobe: “No. Not you.”

Mhurren: “{sighs} If it is indeed the progeny, it must remain unharmed, Scraw.”

Scraw: “{grumbles}”

Tobe: Scraw’s friendship with Tobe just ended right there.

Scraw: “Look, we have to do something. What are we doing?”

Myx: “I’m actually down for going down where Darconius just came from and let’s, let’s see what’s so scary.”

Tobe: “I think maybe one person should go first who has darkvision, not that I’m volunteering or anything.”

Mhurren: “I can.”

Scraw: “Very well. Off you go.”

GM: So you begin sneaking your way down the corridor and you hold yourself to the wall that curves down towards the right to avoid being seen from the other corridor. Luckily, it looks like nobody catches sight of you. And you do see moving shadows and light further down in the direction of the tunnel to the left, but you continue your way down the tunnel to the right. You see that the stone tunnel begins to widen and open up into a small, squarish chamber.

You creep into the edge of this room and as you do so, you hear a loud, [roaring breath]. You don’t immediately catch sight of the source of the sound. You’re looking around. You see that there’s a few overturned boxes. There’s bits and pieces of broken crockery, the occasional coin or two in here. And, in fact, you actually even catch sight of a couple of really small minor gems. And as you look around the room, you see at the other end, surrounded by these scattered bits of broken things, a not huge shape. And, it’s on the ground. From where you’re standing it’s a little bit lumpy looking and as you get closer you hear, [roaring snore].

Mhurren: Can I step slowly forward?

GM: Yeah.

Mhurren: Just to see if I can get a closer look.

GM: So, as you walk into the room, you’re keeping your eye out for anything suspicious, anything that’s moving, and you don’t notice anything. And as you get closer to this bundled shape, it rolls over and you see that this is actually a person. However, they are wearing one of the cultist’s masks and it is covering the upper portion of their face and as they roll over, they go, [interrupted sleeping grunts, resumed snoring, hacks up phlegm, small sleeping sounds, snoring resumes again] as whoever they are dead to the world.

Mhurren: So, sleeping?

GM: Oh, yes.

Mhurren: Right Okay. {laughs} And it’s just the one guy there?

GM: Yep. He’s curled up on the floor. He’s wrapped in a cloak and he’s huddled on the ground and one of the things you noticed that was nearby where he is is a bottle of wine. And it looks like it was probably quite a fine vintage. I say was because there is just the barest hint of a puddle near the neck of the bottle which is just on the ground, but the rest of the bottle appears to be quite empty.

Mhurren: He’s sleeping. Can I like maybe just …gosh…

GM: {laughs}

Mhurren: Can I maybe like just kind of choke him? until he passes out? I don’t want him to wake up. {laughs} Or maybe I smack him on the back of the head.

GM: Okay, so you {laughs} … He just … So you go over to the guy on the ground wearing a cloak and the cultist mask and go ahead and make an attack roll with advantage.


GM: Are you doing this with a mace or with your hands?


GM: How are you putting him out for good?


Mhurren: {blows raspberry} I, aw screw it. I’m, yeah, I’m gonna mace him.

GM: Okay.

Tobe: Oh god! Fucking overkill.

GM: Okay.

Tobe: {quietly} If this isn’t what I think it is…

Mhurren: 10. That’s a 13 to hit.

GM: 13, yep. That hits. So, go ahead and roll your damage.


GM: You’re going for a non-lethal blow with your mace to the head of an unconscious man. {laughs} Sure.

Tobe: You weren’t kidding, we’ve learnt nothing about being good people. {laughs}

GM: You bring up your mace and swing it down as hard as you can into the face of this dude and your mace hits the mask of the guy as you club your mace into his head. And, the mask actually shatters as your mace collides. And as you pull back the hammer for the second blow, you see the face of The Doomsinger.

Tobe: {laughs} Yes! {laughs}

Mhurren: I mean…I, I, I guess that was coming.


GM: And he is absolutely unconscious. He is {laughs} out cold, because, I mean, he was sleeping. Now he’s out.

Mhurren: Does it look like he’s in binds?

GM: He was just fucking hammered. He’s just lying there curled up in this cloak. Got like this small trickle of blood slowly dripping down his head over his eye. {laughs}

Tobe: Before he was hammered. Now he’s really hammered.


Mhurren: I’m a terrible person. Can I grab the bottle of wine?

GM: Okay.

Mhurren: And, hush …


Mhurren: Could I just chuck it over him? just to kind of maybe wake him up?

GM: {laughs} Wake him up from unconsciousness. There is nothing left in the bottle of wine. The wine bottle is empty.


Mhurren: I just lean into his ear and I whisper, “I’m so very sorry.”

GM: He doesn’t respond to that.

Mhurren: I’ll just try to see his face a bit. So, his mask is gone?

GM: You smashed the mask on his face. It was a dragon cultists mask, so he probably has his regular mask lying around somewhere.

Mhurren: I’ll just leave him there. I’ll just try explain it to my friends.

GM: Okay, so you’re just leaving him there {laughs} to go back to the others. Okay, cool. So, yeah, you continue to sneak back and you make your way quite quickly down the tunnel.

Guys, you see Mhurren sneak around the corridor looking quite concerned.

Mhurren: Disturbed. I look disturbed. “Um, well, I-I think I found The Doomsinger.”

Myx: “That’s such good news! Where is he?”

Mhurren: {awkwardly} “He’s, um, he’s in … He’s at the end of that second path.”

Myx: “W-w-why didn’t you bring him with you?”

Mhurren: “I think he’s unconscious.”

Myx: “Unconscious! Is he bleeding? Is he hurt?”

Mhurren: “All of those things.”

Erbak: “Well I am a doctor, so, I should probably see to him as soon as possible,” Erbak says and Erbak starts hurrying down …

Mhurren: I follow the doctor. “Oh, please, please. Help him.”

GM: {laughs} Seeing as he didn’t technically lie about any of that, you get the impression that Mhurren is very concerned about The Doomsinger who has been unconscious and appears to be bleeding and in pain.

Mhurren: I turn to like everyone else … {whispers} “Quiet.”

GM: So, you guys all stealthily make it down and Erbak begins to examine The Doomsinger.

Mhurren: I’m just in the corner, just cleaning my mace a little bit.


Tobe: And a room full of people with darkvision who can see you doing it. {laughs}

Mhurren: I turn my back.

Erbak: Erbak looks The Doomsinger over and says, “Hmm … Yes, it looks like, it looks like he’s been drinking very heavily. It, it seems like inebriation.” He’s giving him a patdown. He’s like, “Though, I am concerned about this contusion on his skull. Seems rather severe. However, I-I think I can handle this.” And he’s patting him, “Ah, how convenient.” And he brings out a potion vial that The Doomsinger had upon his person. “This should do the trick.” And he feeds it to The Doomsinger who splutters awake.

Doomsinger: “Ugh, um …” And he looks blurrily around and in Draconic says, {slurring} “Um, where wine? Ugh.” And he starts feeling his face. And he’s looking around.

Erbak: And Erbak’s analyzing him. “Yes, I think this is a very well done job. I, I’m very pleased with myself and everything is fine.”

Doomsinger: The Doomsinger is going to sit up abruptly. “What are you all doing here?”

Tobe: “Well, looking for you and many other things.”

Doomsinger: “Well, um, pleasant to see you all.”

Myx: “It’s nice to see they haven’t killed you.”

Doomsinger: “Huh. I am a master of disguise.”

Mhurren: He’s aware his mask is off?

Doomsinger: Yes, but he has other, more pressing concerns at the moment.

Mhurren: “Um, how ’bout we get out of here?”

Doomsinger: “Mmm, perhaps. That might not be entirely simple, but, um, get out of where?”

Tobe: “{clears throat} This cave.”

Mhurren: I go and help The Doomsinger up.

Doomsinger: He, despite himself, accepts your assistance. “Good to see you, priest. Why are you here?”

Mhurren: “We’re here to get you.”

Tobe: “We’re trying to deal with this cult.”

Doomsinger: “Well, how’s that going so far?”

Tobe: “Not amazingly well {laughs}.”

Mhurren: “Well, we have a full of them in the next, down the next path.”

Doomsinger: “Yes, uh, they rather respect me, actually. {chuckles}”

Tobe: “Why? What have you been doing since we parted ways?”

Doomsinger: “Oh, a little bit of this, little bit of that. You know how it is?”

Tobe: “I don’t. That’s why I’m asking.”

Doomsinger: “I don’t think the specifics matter too much. Point being, um, [clicks tongue], well, uh, what exactly is it you plan to do? You’ve found me. Congratulations.”

Tobe: “Probably looking for the dragon’s progeny.”

Doomsinger: “Ah, yes, I have heard whispering. I believe if such a thing exists it is further into the cave.”

Myx: “You don’t know where it is?”

Mhurren: “You say that …”

Doomsinger: “No. I have not really done much in the way of exploring. I’ve been, uh …” And he looks down at the bottle of wine and says, “Entertaining myself.”

Myx: “We, we, we can see that.”

Doomsinger: “Does anybody know how this happened?” {laughs} And he looks down at the broken mask. He’s like, “I must have fallen when I was drinking, I think?”

Tobe: “Probably you could tell us that. It was quite the nasty fall”

Mhurren: “Probably fell over in your drunken stupor and knocked yourself out.”

Doomsinger: “Well, that does seem likely.”

Mhurren: “Entirely possible.”

Doomsinger: “Yes, yes. You’d think I’d remember such a thing, but {laughs} I don’t remember much of the past few days, if I’m honest. In any case, shall we?” And he gestures to the entrance of the cave as he pulls out his ceramic mask and affixes it onto his face. “It feels good to be me again. You know?”

Mhurren: I just hide on the side and…

GM: You guys have recovered The Doomsinger.

Tobe: Yay! {laughs}

GM: What are you guys doing?

Myx: Proceeding.

GM: Where?

Tobe: “I think we should go back to the other plan of picking off those mushrooms from a distance and going further in that way.”

Mhurren: “Wait, Doomsinger, did you say that you had developed some kind of authority amongst these cultists.”

Doomsinger: “Uh, yes? Yes. I did say that.”

Myx: “How far does the authority extend?”

Mhurren: “Would you be able to tell them to come out and…”

Doomsinger: “I’m not sure. I’ve never really tried to test it. Probably not. Just a hunch, but I could lure some of them out here, possibly.”

Tobe: “The problem is, what do we do with if we get him to lure them out here?”

Myx: “Knock them out?”

Tobe: “I’m sure … Well, I’m sure if they don’t come back, the rest will come looking for them.”

Myx: “But … If they come out in small groups.”

Tobe: “Assuming that the rest of them don’t all come out at once.”

Myx: “If we keep it quiet, there’s no reason for them to.”

Tobe: “{disapproving groan}”

Mhurren: “Probably head back toward that path with the mushrooms. That’d be a …”

Tobe: “Let’s at least like, see, where that goes before heading into, mmm, more certain danger.”

Doomsinger: “A fine plan. I will warn you, I’ve heard from the other that there are a lot of traps here. You should probably be on your guard. I’m not too familiar with them. I never ventured much into the cave. I had other things to keep me, uh, busy.”

Tobe: “Like drinking.”

Doomsinger: “Eh, a little of column a, a little bit of column b.”

Tobe: “Did you at least learn anything noteworthy whilst you were in their company other than..?”

Doomsinger: “What did you learn, Tobe? While you were fleeing for your life as I burned your enemies to stop them from pursuing you?”

Tobe: “Touché.”

Doomsinger: “After you.”

GM: So, you guys are gonna make your way back to the mushroom field.

Mhurren:Before we do … Before I forget. I pull out the very unusual satchel that had some weight I can find. I hold it out. “Any of you figure out what this is?”

GM: So, you guys see Mhurren brings out what looks like a small, rust colored pouch.

Mhurren: “I think magical.”

Tobe: “Did you find it in one of the tents?”

Mhurren: “Yes.”

GM: Okay, so, you take the bag from Mhurren. When you do, you lift it and you realize that it feels like not super heavy, but it feels like there’s something in there. It’s like a soft velvet feeling bag.

Myx: Open it up.

GM: Okay. So, you open it up. You look inside. The bag is empty.

Myx: Gonna turn it upside down and jiggle it around.

GM: You turn it upside down, you jiggle it around, nothing falls out. The bag is empty.

Myx: Look for trap doors inside it. {laughs}

GM: Okay, so you put your hand in and you feel around and as soon as your hand goes into the bag, you touch something fuzzy.

Myx: Ew. I’m going to very carefully just feel around at the fuzzy thing.

GM: You touch and you feel and it feels like there’s soft and fuzzy and it’s about two inches around and it feels kind of like a fuzzy ball.

Myx: I’m gonna pull it out.

GM: And you pull it out and in your hand is…a fuzzy ball. And Mhurren, you see this.

Myx: “Huh.”

Mhurren: “Well, look at that.”

Myx: “Do, do you know what this is because I sure don’t? What is a fuzzy ball doing in the bag?”

Tobe: “I think the more pertinent question is, why didn’t it fall out when you tipped the bag upside down?”

Myx: “That.”

GM: So you have heard in the past of a specific kind of magic that applies to bags, often referred to as a bag of holding. Now, with a bag of holding, usually you have to reach in and think about an object to recover it. So, you know that this can’t possibly be that. It’s not a bag of holding but it’s a very similar kind of magic.

Doomsinger: At which point, of course, The Doomsinger wanders over and says, “Look, are you going to stand around playing with your balls for the rest of the day?”

Myx: “No.”

Doomsinger: “Or are we going to move on?”

Myx: Myx just sticks them in his hand.

Doomsinger: You stick one of the fuzzy balls in his hand and he goes, “Uck!” And he throws it. And you watch as the fuzzy ball arcs through the air, lands on the ground a few feet away from you guys and turns into an owl, [poof], puffs into the air.

Myx: “What?”

Tobe: “Ah, didn’t see that one coming.”

[owl hoots]

Tobe: “Oh, shit. Don’t let it make noise. Put it back. Put it back.”

Mhurren: D0 they all turn into owls?

GM: You don’t know.

Mhurren: What’s the owl doing?

GM: It’s just hovering there, looking like it’s waiting for someone to tell it what to do.

Myx: Myx is going to approach the owl.

GM: It doesn’t seem to react. It just looks at you.

Myx: And waves at it. “Hello?”

[owl hoots]

Myx: She says hello in Draconian.

[owl hoots]

Tobe: “I’m not sure it has any other way to respond to you, Myx.”

GM: Flaps around the room, looks around. Is Myx gonna give Mhurren his bag of balls back? {laughs}

Myx: Yes.

GM: Does Mhurren want it is the question?

Mhurren: “Please, keep it.”

Tobe: “I’ll have it.”

Myx: “I-I have enough things. Here you go.”

Tobe: “I’ll have it. We may find a use for it eventually and it might be useful.”

GM: So, the owl doesn’t disappear, it just keeps flying around and it sees, Tobe, that Oz is sitting on your shoulder and it decides that your other shoulder is probably the best place for it. So, it lands on the other shoulder and Oz gives an indignant [caw!].

Mhurren: “Okay. Shall we get out of here?”

GM: What are you guys doing?

Mhurren: “We’ll return to the mushroom path.”

Myx: “To the mushrooms.”

Tobe: “Sounds like a plan.”

GM: You guys make your way back down the path to entrance to the cave where you come to the landing with the collapsed staircase, which led down to the fungi grove. And you can see now that there’s a distinct pattern that is on the mushrooms that are specifically the living ones. So, it takes you guys the best part of 15, 20 minutes almost, of just pinging away at these things from a distance with magical attacks, but eventually, the mushrooms stop moving and the fungi grove appears to just be a large cavernous area filled with mushrooms that are no longer moving or hostile towards you.

Erbak wanders over to the large violet fungus remains and begins to extract samples from their person, insisting variously that they will be useful for his investigations as to the nature as to what has animated the tissues of such normally inanimate existences.

Myx: “Uh huh.”

Mhurren: “{whispers} Gonna smoke it.”

GM: Well, he specifically noticed that whenever it took damage it grew tendrils where the damage had been taken and it used those to attack and he thinks that’s a very interesting defense mechanism so he’s very interested in seeing more of that. So, now you guys are standing around {laughs} up to your ankles in fungus. What do you do?

Tobe: Move on – stealthily.

Mhurren: Mm-hmm (affirmative).

Myx: Yeah.

GM: You find yourself staggering through the fungus, Mhurren, and you just feel woozy. There’s just something about … Must be the air in here, you just can’t find your feet. Every time you put them down, you just stumble a little bit and you find, you don’t realize it, but you’re making a lot more noise than you think you are. You guys make your way through the fungus and underneath what appears to be a stone bridge of some kind, you can see that the top of the cavern that you’re walking in goes much higher, but there is a stone arch extending between the two walls that you are walking through. So, as you walk underneath this stone arch, the cave begins to open out thereafter.

Tobe: Tobe’s sticking closer to a wall, just because.

Mhurren: I’m probably going to be right at the back.

Myx: Behind Tobe.

Tobe: Tobe’s not going at the front. Not with his HP.

GM: Myx.

Myx: Quietly, checking for traps.

GM: As you walk out into this cave, you notice that there are a lot of small mushrooms in this area. Not nearly as many as there were in the area that you just left. It’s very obvious that whatever’s growing there is growing slowly into this area, but the mushrooms are far more dispersed here. You wander in and as you’re wandering around, you’re looking at these mushrooms and you’re noticing them here and there, and you start to catch sight of some other things that are littering the ground here, bats. Dead bats.

Myx: That’s not weird. Do I notice if they’re in a pattern or anything?

GM: No. Just as you’re walking through the cave, every now and again, you notice a dead bat.

Myx: I would actually mention, because it’s quite strange to see dead bats like this.

GM: Myx points out to you that she is … You guys are still sneaking along. Mhurren is still stumbling over everything.

Mhurren: “Hang on.”

GM: But Myx points out to you that she’s seeing dead bats here and there. There’s not a huge amount that you notice at least in the portion that you’re currently in. Other than these dead bats that you’re seeing, as you scour the ground looking for traps.

Tobe: Tobe decides to pick one up to see if there’s any obvious signs of what killed it, like was it attacked by something? Or?

GM: You pick up the small bat and it looks like it’s a little, one of the miniature fruit bats. And you’re looking it over, and you notice a quite large puncture wound in its side. Upon closer inspection, it looks like there’s no blood on the wound, but the bat looks very dried out, like it might have been there for a long time, but at the same time, the rate of decay of everything else about it indicates that it was probably dead quite recently. Whatever killed this thing drained it entirely of its bodily fluids.

Tobe: Well, that’s creepy. He shares this with the rest of the group. But he’s like, “This bat, looks like it’s been punctured by something, but also drained of all, you know, fluidy insides.”

Myx: “Vampires don’t live in caves, right?”

Tobe: “I think if there was a vampire down here, it would probably be hunting something bigger than a fruit bat.”

Scraw: “Like the cultists.”

Myx: “Maybe the cultists have anti-vampire equipment!”

Tobe: “Myx.”

Myx: “Yes?”

Tobe: “I love you but that’s ridiculous.”

Myx: “It could happen.”

Tobe: “It certainly looks like it’s been attacked by something.”

Myx: “Do we just keep going forward or do you guys think it’s worth investigating anything else around here?”

Tobe: “I think if we go forward, we want to be very, very cautious of what’s around us, and possibly where we’re putting our hands and feet.”

Myx: “I think that’s doable.”

Tobe: “I would advise probably not going out into an open space. Stay close to a wall or a pillar.”

GM: So, you guys are already stealthing. You, unless you say otherwise, are progressing through the cave. Following the walls, you come towards the further end of this particular room, where it appears to open out to an exit to the left and also to the right. On the right hand side, there appears to be a set of stairs that leads down a tunnel. Whereas, to the left, there’s a short, wide passage leading into an open room you can’t see much further into. As you progress into the cave and towards these exits, you see that the floor begins to drop away ahead of you.

Myx: Drop away like crumbling cement sort of drops away? Or?

GM: No, it drops down several feet.

Myx: “Uh, guys.”

GM: As in, like there’s a cliff at the end of the path and then there are two exits, one to the left and one to the right. The one on the right has stairs.

Tobe: Since finding the dead bat, Tobe’s being very, very cautious of his surroundings.

GM: You don’t notice a huge amount more. You are keeping your eye where you put your feet and so on. What you do notice is that across the room on the side of the cave that has the stairs at the exit, it looks like there’s a spear there. But, other than that, you don’t notice anything else while you’re traversing the room.

Tobe: Hmm.

Myx: Can I investigate the bit where the floor drops? Very carefully go over there and lean my head over to see as far as I can see.

GM: You see that the floor drops away in a series of ledges. Each of them are about 10 foot drops. And, you can see that there’s bits and pieces of something down there. You do notice a glint of metal catches your eye. But, you can’t see much in the way of detail down there from where you are right now.

Myx: “Darconius?”

Darconius: “Yeah?”

Myx: “Are, are, are you recovered from the scary man?”

Darconius: {suspiciously} “Mmm, I don’t know. Why?”


Myx: “Well, I’d like you to check something for me, but I will go with you this time.”

Darconius: “Okay.”

Myx: “Uh, you see that, um, that’s, this ledge here and, and how it goes down?”

Darconius: “Mm-hmm {affirmative}.”

Myx: “Uh, I want to go down there and see if I can find anything. There’s something shiny down there and I want to find out more.”

Darconius: “Mm, okay. So, how are you going with me then?”

Myx: “Uh, guys, um …” I’m addressing the party.

Tobe: “Hmm?”

Myx: “How would you guys feel if you just watched my body for a minute {laughs} while I check out down here, um, with Darconius?”

Tobe: “I don’t see how it’s going to be a problem.”

Mhurren: {pensively} “O-kay…”

Myx: “Well, we’re in a cave and I’m paranoid, but, yeah, if you guys could just watch over, that would be great. I’ll only be like a minute or two.”

Tobe: Well, Tobe goes over to where Myx is and…

Mhurren: Does Mhurren understand what’s going on?

GM: No, because none of the party have ever seen Myx do this. Tobe is aware that Myx can connect with Darconius on a different level, so Tobe probably gets what Myx is implying, but Mhurren probably has no clue. “You want me to watch your body? Uhhh.”

Mhurren: I just lean in on the wall beside her.

Erbak: Erbak is like, “Hmm, interesting. May I watch, for science?”

Myx: “Yeah, knock yourself out.”

Erbak: He’s like, “No, that would be quite impractical. I will simply watch.”


Tobe: “You’re very literal, aren’t you?”

Erbak: “It’s a shame not more are.”

Myx: I guess in that case, with this audience that totally isn’t making Myx feel nervous, she sits down on the floor, all mediation style.

GM: You sit down and you, Mhurren, you’re watching Myx as she sits down and closes her eyes and moments later her whole body just slumps against the wall and Darconius snaps up, looks around.

Myx: I’m going to speak to my party and be like, “Yo, I’m here now,” and bounce up and down.

GM: So, you guys are watching a little pseudodragon jump up and down. Tobe’s seen this before. Tobe gets it. Scraw’s seen this before. Scraw doesn’t get it but has seen it before, so doesn’t care.

Erbak: And Erbak’s just like, “This is very interesting. Hmm.”

Myx: “Okay, bye now.”

Erbak: “Wait! Do you feel this?” And he pokes your body in the face.

Myx: “Uh … No.”

Erbak: “That’s very interesting.” And you kind of see him put his jaw on his hand and he starts rubbing his chin as he’s looking at your body. “Very interesting.”

Myx: “I trust Tobe to look over my body. Mhurren, you watch the doctor. I don’t want him doing anything funny.”

Mhurren: “Uhhh.” I’m going to walk over to the Doctor. “Uh, peculiar.”

Tobe: Tobe sits down next to Myx’s body.

GM: Myx, you’re like, “Whatever, I’m going.”

Darconius: The thing is, when you’re in control of Darconius, you feel this little rush of giddiness all the time because it’s like being inside a lizard head. You race over to the edge of this cliff. And, as you get further, he’s like, “Ugh, that smells really gross. Ewww. I don’t like it down here. Do we have to stay here long?”

Myx: “No, just …”

Darconius: “Disgusting.”

Myx: “We need to figure out what’s down here so we can tell the others.”

GM: You rush around and you find a pair of old boots, a couple of dirty books. There’s this really rank smell in the air. It’s absolutely vile. You don’t find much else.

Myx: Hmm. Can I see the shiny thing?

GM: You don’t find anything. You’re looking around. “Ugh, what is that? Where, where is the shiny thing? The shiny thing, the shiny thing, the shiny thing.”

Darconius: And Darconius goes, “Uhh, I don’t think we’re alone down here. I don’t think we should stay. I want to go.”

Myx: “Uh, all right. I mean, it does smell pretty bad and …”

GM: The moment you say, “All right,” Darconius has your body zooming away and you hear what sounds like, it’s almost like stones scraping against stone behind you, scratching of a rock being scraped down another rock but Darconius keeps running. Before long, you find yourself back up on the main platform in the main portion of the room, zooming towards your friends and your own unconscious body.

Myx: Okay, I would like to go back to my own body now, please.

GM: You do that. You guys watch Myx come to again and the doctor’s still just staring at you in, “Curious.”

Myx: “You can stop staring at me now.”

Erbak: “So, you’re no longer in there.”

Myx: “No, Darconius …”

Erbak: “Little lizard, speak.”

Myx: Myx looks over at Darconius.

Darconius: “Speak!”

Erbak: “Erm. It’s much more eloquent when you were in there. Is it stupid?”


Myx: “How dare you call my lizard stupid!”

Erbak: “I did not call it anything. I asked a question. It’s for science.”

Myx: {Indignant} “No!”

Erbak: “Interesting. Hmm. This bears further study.”

GM: Tobe, now that Myx is back from her adventure …

Tobe: He’s actually going to go and investigate that stair that he noticed.

GM: So, you go over and you look at the …

Tobe: He doesn’t touch it or anything.

GM: You look at it. It looks pretty beat up, actually. On closer inspection, this spear doesn’t really look very valuable. The blade on the spear is quite large and it looks like it’s just full of dents and holes. The dents and holes on the blade of the spear look like they’re not regular, but they’re of pretty regular size. There is a consistency in the size of the indentations or holes, but there doesn’t appear to be a pattern in where they are on the blade.

Tobe: Does it look like something shot through?

GM: You would probably have to pick it up to determine that.

Tobe: Uh, he’s a little less weary seeing the condition of it and just pulls it out of the ground.

GM: You pick it up and you can see that where there holes are, yes, it does look like the metal on the other side is bent outwards, so it does look like something has punctured this blade, though what, it’s very hard to tell.

Tobe: Does it look like a similar size as to the ones that were in the bats?

GM: No. They do not. The bat puncture was actually quite small, whereas these look probably like the diameter of an arrow shaft or possibly even thicker, actually.

Tobe: Tobe turns to the rest of the group. “What do you guys make of this, because this spear looks like something’s been shot through it.” And he’s holding it out a little bit in front of him.

Mhurren: “You mean, for target practice?”

Tobe: “{stammers} Would you use a spear for target practice, though?”

Myx: “Maybe something was here with them and they were trying to attack?”

Tobe: “Hmmm.”

Myx: “I mean, who knows what’s actually in the cave as a whole. It-it’s possible, right?”

Tobe: “I’m just a little disturbed.”

Scraw: “It certainly looks like it’s been used for something. No battle blade’s ever been kept in this condition.”

Mhurren: Would I be able to tell if the holes in the spear were teeth marks?

GM: So, looking at this blade, you notice that the puncture wounds are on both sides, but they’re not regular like they would be if it had been bitten down on by something. And you also notice that the ones that actually go right through, the side of the blade that is clearly where whatever punctured it has come out of, the metal is curved, sort of at an angle. So, it looks like whatever has caught on this in various places has actually gone through it in a hook motion, that essentially whatever has pierced this has not gone straight through, like an arrow might, but has actually gone through and then curved as the blade has connected with it, or it is connected with the blade.

Mhurren: Hmm, kind of like claw?

GM: Probably not. Whatever this is, it doesn’t look natural. Claw would leave gouges, this is very much more like imagine putting a hook in something and then pulling it down. It’s left that kind of shape in the metal. So, this does not look like any kind of teeth or claw marks that you are specifically aware of.

Mhurren: “Shall we press on?”

Tobe: “{groans}”


Narrator: Hey there, friend. You look like you need a coffee. Why don’t you take a quick moment to settle down, throw the kettle on, get yourself a hot steamy brew, and in the meantime, here’s something just a little bit different from our friends over at Chaotic Goodness.

Player one : “Uh, I-I’m sorry, guys, we gotta jump it. I’m sorry.”

[klaxon alarm sounds over dialogue]

Player two : “What did you do? What do you mean, jump it?”

Player Three : “You’re going to do a wild jump? You’re going to kill us all!”

Player one : “I don’t have a choice. I’m sorry.”

Player two : “Oh, no. This isn’t good.”

Player four: “You know what happened last time.”

Player one : “It went up. I gotta go. Sorry. Hold on.”

Player Three : “Guys, the, we’re taking fire.”

[explosions along with the klaxon]

Player three : “Just land us near a hospital.”

Player one : “Hold on!”


Guest narrator : Like what you hear? This is a small sample of the action and excitement that await you every Monday on the Chaotic Goodness podcast. Download us on your favorite podcast app, and join us for space opera, action, adventure and lots and lots of console cleaning. Let the chaos begin.


GM: You guys are still analyzing the pitted blade and deciding what to do next. You notice that in the short, wide passage to the left, there does appear to be some dim light in the distance that occasionally moves closer to the area you’re currently in.

Myx: “Uh, guys? The … Is someone coming?”

Tobe: Does it look like it’s moving towards us or is it just moving around?

GM: Sometimes it looks like it’s coming towards you, but then it seems to stop and go away.

Tobe: “Mmm. I think it’s just someone moving around, but that is still a concern.”

Myx: “We should get closer to it.”

Mhurren: “Let’s go a bit further.”

Tobe: “Hmm. Well, hang on. Let’s at least try and take a look down this passage first.” Not know what else to do with the spear at this point, Tobe just puts it back on the floor and he carefully takes a peek down the right hand tunnel. After his previous experience with stairs, he basically like looks as far down as he can.

GM: So, at the base of the steeply descending steps, there’s a curtain that hangs across the passage blocking your view into whatever room lies beyond. It looks like it’s made from hundreds of heavy leather strips, each about the width of a human hand or a tiefling hand in this instance. The strips look like they’re fixed to the ceiling and they’re long enough to drag on the floor. It’s a very tall entrance way. Curtain extends wall to wall, covering the entrance completely and from where you’re standing, it looks like there’s several layers of curtain, so you can’t see through.

Tobe: “I can see at least to the bottom of the stairs here. There’s … It seems to be a leather curtain made out of strips of leather or something and it encompasses the whole width of the tunnel. I can’t see any light.”

Myx: “Sounds suspicious, if you ask me.”

Erbak: “Indeed,” says Erbak.

Doomsinger: Doomsinger’s like, “Well, I’ve not heard anything about any, uh, doors.”

Mhurren: “You’ve not been through this way Doomsinger?”

Doomsinger: “No, I’ve, uh, not ventured much beyond the entrance, I’m afraid. As you saw, there was some rather vicious fungi in the way.”

Tobe: “Yes, did see that. {groans}. I’m weary, but, I’m really curious.”

Mhurren: “Well …”

GM: The adventurer’s conundrum.

Mhurren: “If we head towards the light, then at least we can see what is ahead of us.”

Tobe: “I like this plan.”

GM: Okay. So, you are, instead, going to investigate the other exit.

Mhurren: Where the light’s coming from.

Tobe: Tobe’s a little bit weary that the curtain itself might be a trap.

GM: Myx, are you in agreement with this? What do you want to do?

Myx: Just looking along the wall for any things like slits or any …

GM: Anything that stands out, is unusual in that regard. Okay. So you’re looking at the walls for signs. Scraw and Erbak and Doomsinger are just gonna hang back.

Tobe: Tobe’s being cautious of anything that could be a pressure plate on the floor, anything like unnatural on the floor that looks like it could be activated by being stepped on.

GM: You guys creep towards the edge of this corridor and you look down past the short passage and into what appears to be an open cave area, right by the entrance that the cave connects to. Passage leads to a stairwell that goes down on the right. This appears to go into a area several feet below the main floor, where you see that there are a number of kobolds in the area, standing around a small campfire and every now and again one of them walks away with a torch, does a quick look around. It’s very dimly lit.

Myx, you glancing around with Tobe’s help, Tobe actually points out to you that there appear to be some areas of stone that don’t quite match the stone around them and you can see that there are certain patches of stone that don’t appear to be actual stone, and though you can’t tell much about them from this distance, you guess it’s probably not a good idea to step on those.

Myx: I want to bring this to the attention of my party.

Tobe: Wouldn’t that be just me and Mhurren at this point {laughs}?

Mhurren: “Well, kobolds are definitely weaker than cultists, aren’t they?”

Tobe: How many kobolds were there?

GM: From where you’re standing, you can see five or so, one of which has wings.

Tobe: “I mean, do you think it’d be wise for us to go down there? I mean, we don’t have to fight them.” He’s whispering.

Scraw: You just hear behind you, {loudly} “I fear no kobolds.”

Mhurren: “You don’t fear anything, do you?”

Scraw: “Why should I? Death is but a glorious end to a wild life.”

Tobe: “Well, I guess that’s one way to look at it.”

Mhurren: “Invigorating.”


Myx: “We can take them, right?”

Scraw: “Of course. They are kobolds. They are nothing, beneath us.”

Tobe: The one time he’s like, “Yeah if we tell him he can’t smash some heads, I think we’re in trouble. Fine. Let’s be careful because there’s trap on the floor.”

Scraw: “Thank you.”

Scraw: “To die in a trap would be really lame.”

Tobe: Did Scraw actually come over?

Scraw: He was standing behind you {laughs} when you were all crouched down and whispering. “These kobolds are not…” And he’s not whispering. “I fear no kobolds. For realsies.”

Tobe: “What was even the point of trying to be stealthy?” He does at least point out which areas of the floor Scraw should try to not step on. “Well, then, Scraw, would you like to do the honors? So gung ho about going in there and bashing some heads.”

Mhurren: “Let’s go. Keep him happy.”

Scraw: He looks at you when you say, “Keep him happy.” “I doubt these kobolds are going to present much of a challenge, but it’s better than nothing for now, I suppose.”

GM: What you are looking at is an open stone platform that appears to drop off into darkness, which has a set of stairs that lead down towards it. You guys see that there are four kobolds and one kobold which appears to have wings. And you have encountered these winged kobolds before. One of them dropped a bolder on Mhurren at some point.

Tobe: That’s probably like the safest thing.

GM: And you still have an owl that’s just chilling.

Tobe: Tobe doesn’t know what to do with the owl {laughs}. Well, I guess he could send it in there as a distraction.But then it might die. {laughs}

Mhurren: “Can you get it to do anything?”

Tobe: “I don’t know.” I think, considering that I assume since nothing’s happened, the kobolds don’t know that we’re here yet.

GM: As far as you’re aware, not yet. Tobe and Mhurren are on the left-hand side, entering the cave and Myx and Scraw are sneaking in from the right and Doomsinger and Erbak are hanging back near the entrance just waiting to see what happens, effectively.

Tobe, you’re gonna sacred flame. Natural one means that not only is he not aware {laughs}, but he doesn’t even try to dodge. He’s looking at his cohort and saying something and he looks up as a ball of sacred fire engulfs his head. As that fireball collides with him, his head literally erupts in sacred flame as he screams.

Tobe: Did I just annihilate that Kobold?

GM: He just died with the one attack.

Tobe: So, do the rest of them actually notice this?

GM: Absolutely. They’re looking around as he erupts into flames and screeches. The two he was talking to just look dumbfounded and the one that’s closest to the entrance starts looking around frantically, sees you, points and goes, “Over there! Intruders!” in Draconic.

Doomsinger: The Doomsinger does nothing. “Well, priest. I look forward to seeing what, uh, you’ve learned in my absence. I noticed you dallied returning to save me. ”

GM: The kobold that’s nearest to you actually runs over to the wall closest to you. You see him grab something, and then he runs from there, down to the bottom of the stairs. This kobold is going to move here and he is gonna take a shot at Myx.

As a rock comes hurtling towards you and collides with your forehead and {laughs} the other kobold jumps in the air and pumps his fist. He’s like, “Yeah, get the- Take that! Get out of here!” And now it is your turn.

Myx: I’m firing at that one.

GM: You’re using your crossbow?

Myx: In his head.

GM: You lower and aim your crossbow at the kobold and as he’s jumping in the air, that’s when you take aim and you fire your crossbow just as he starts to descend and the bolt skims over his head and he ducks slightly and goes, “Ahahahaha.”

Myx: “Turd.”

GM: He does a rude gesture with his hand. Tobe.

Tobe: Tobe’s gonna sacred flame the one that’s heading down the stairs.

GM: He is not in sight at this point. He is at the bottom of the stairs, so he’s several feet below, so you would have to move into the room to be able to see him.

Tobe: Then I’m just gonna go back to good old eldritch blast. I’m gonna go for the one that just threw a rock.

GM: So, you raise your hands and the gem that you wear on your wrist glows as your release a blast of energy and it rips forward and destroys the triumphant kobold.

Tobe: His victory did not last very long.

GM: No. However, seeing the chaos caused, this kobold by the stairs that you do not see, is now going to run out of the room and up the nearby stairs. He disappears into the nearby stone wall. This kobold streaks away from where he was standing by the campfire, runs over to an exit that, again, you guys can’t see from where you are and leans out and fires a slingshot at Tobe.

Tobe: Aww shit.

GM: He pings a rock at you and due to the wall that’s in the way, what happens is he looses a rock and the rock hits the wall and you think it’s gonna miss you, but it actually richoches, hitting you in the cheek bone, leaving a slight gash.

Erbak: Erbak looks over and goes, “Hmm, it’s strange kobolds are giving you any trouble at all, really. Here, let me show you how it’s done.” And he walks over and he focuses on the kobold in front of him and he casts chill touch.

Tobe: “Okay, let’s be fair. I did just like completely decimate two kobolds.”

Erbak: You watch as Erbak goes and he stretches his fingers as a spectral skeletal hand appears in the air in front of the kobold by the exit and he squeezes his hand together and the creature clutches at its throat as the skeletal hand wraps its way around it and crushes the life out of him.

GM: Mhurren.

Mhurren: I’m okay passing through the trapped area right?

GM: Because you know where the traps are, yes.

Mhurren: Then I’m gonna …

GM: So, you rush over into the platformed area towards the beginning of the stone steps. You probably can’t see down the stairs from where you are, just because of the angle of the room and so on. So, you still can’t quite see where he is at the moment.

Mhurren: Maybe if I just get up to the top of the steps?

GM: Yeah, so if you move to the top of the stairs, you can definitely see that at the bottom the kobold is standing there and he’s looking back at you triumphantly in front of what appears to be an open gate.

Tobe: {groans} {laughs}

Mhurren: Okay, can I dart him?

GM: You throw a dart down the stairs into the face of this kobold who screeches and scrabbles at his face as he tries to pull this dart out. He stumbles backwards and falls onto the ground, thrashing, and as he does so, something darts out from the shadows and pulls him back and away. And so he just disappears off into the darkness. There is a stone wall down the side of the stairs. All you saw was him falling onto the ground, thrashing around and then suddenly vanishing into the lower area.

Doomsinger: It is now The Doomsinger’s turn. He is gonna look at you all and say, “Well, that seemed like it was a lot of fuss for nothing. What are we doing now then?”

Tobe: “Investigating further.”

GM: And he wanders into the room. So, he wanders over the trapped area, avoiding all of the traps. Mhurren, you hear … Meat grinders aren’t a thing in the world, but if they were, it would sound like that.

Mhurren: Oh.

GM: You hear the mashing of meat and bone.

Mhurren: Okay. {laughs}

GM: And it sounds like something is being torn apart. Myx.

Myx: I’m gonna see what the fuss is about and move, since they’re all up ahead and stuff.

GM: Tobe.

Tobe: Yeah, Tobe’s gonna move over.

Erbak: Erbak comes over, is just gonna wander into the room.

GM: Mhurren.

Mhurren: So, I saw that kobold drop dead and then …

GM: And you now hear feral noises, the gnashing of teeth, grinding of meat.

Mhurren: And yet, you’re saying that there’s a ….

GM: There is a gate. It is wide open.

Mhurren: If I move anywhere, I’m gonna shout, “Er, there’s probably something down here.”

GM: And the feral growls stop and fall silent.

Mhurren: I take one step forward.

GM: You take one step forward and you put the weight of your body on the one foot, on the top step, and…nothing happens but you don’t have much more of a vantage point. You can see past through the open gate into what appears to be a darkened cave, but you can’t see much down there, because obviously the view point from here is actually very narrow.

Mhurren: I’ll just move around.

GM: You see in the dark the mangled remains of the kobold which is now missing limb portions and you also see three large drakes. Not as large as some of the drakes that you saw around the town, but still very large, and one of them is right by the entrance to the stairs. The other two are prowling towards the stairway and leaving behind the carcass of the kobold.

Mhurren: Oh, gosh. They’re heading upwards?

GM: They’re heading towards the stairs because they were alerted by you shouting. {laughs}

Mhurren: {laugh} Oh, shit. Did you said these drakes are similar to the ones we saw in Greenest?

GM: Yeah. It’s strange. They’re very similar in that they’re large, four legged lizards, but they’re very different as well. The ones that you met in town were shades of red and bronze. These ones appear to be shades of blue and green. In some ways they’re smaller. In other ways they’re larger. They’re disproportionate. And you get the sense that these are not fully grown, but at the same time they are almost as large as the ones that you faced in the city.

Mhurren: I just want to move over to the other side. “Drakes below us!”


Ray: And that’s all we had time for this week. Join us next time for Episode 15: Time for Tea at the Kobold Feast. We’ve had so much in the way of positivity from our listeners the past few weeks that I can’t put into words how grateful that I am for you all. Please continue to spread the word about our show. We don’t advertise, so word of mouth is how people hear about us and we absolutely love hearing about your experiences listening along with us.

The song that you heard at the beginning of this episode is Extravaganza by TRG Banks and the song you’re now hearing is While You are Here by Ending Satellites. Until next time, travel safe and remember, The Scales of Justice are here for you, always.

The Doomsinger Written by: