The audio of this episode can be found directly here; https://tailsfromthedarkdragonsinn.co.uk/campaign-episode-15/
You can find a ‘live transcript’ of the below here; https://youtu.be/xrArFgHkYdM
This transcript is colour coded for ease of use. Please download the PDF.
Tobe as played by Liz
Myx as played by Nina
Mhurren as played by Vinny
Erbak as played by Tom
Narrator/Scraw/GM/Everything else as played by Ray
[Audio Description]
{Tone Guide/Sarcasm etc}
[music]
Ray: Hello, and welcome to Tails from the Dark Dragons Inn, Episode 15: Time for Tea at the Kobold Feast. I want to say a quick thank you to those of you who’ve left us reviews. Thanks to your efforts, on the US iTunes store, we’re now a five-star rated podcast. Due to an unfortunate quirk in the way iTunes handles things, though, we’re still not quite there on the UK store, amongst others. We still need your support and every rating and review is massively appreciated. Dwayne Feenestra thank you for listening.
This episode comes with a quick warning. If you’re a listener who is sensitive to gore, the latter half of this one may leave you feeling a little squeamish. Approach with caution. And with that out of the way, on with the show.
Host: “He’s back! Don’t tell him I said so, but I was starting to think he was gone for good. {laughs} Right this way. Your table is waiting.”
Doomsinger: “Hello! And welcome to The Dark Dragons Inn. I am The Doomsinger, your one and only orator. It has been too long since my presence has graced this stage and I thank you for your patience. The Helping Hands Company know their craft but there’s something special about hearing it firsthand, don’t you think?”
GM: You guys are up on this platform. You’ve just fought off a bunch of kobolds and it wasn’t a particularly harrowing experience. However, you now hear what sounds like the sound of heavy, dense metal, scraping along the stone, and it’s accompanied by a [slurping growls] as one of the drakes that Mhurren shouted about begins to haul its ass up the stairs. So, it’s gonna go for The Doomsinger because The Doomsinger is directly in front of its line of sight and{dramatically} ‘it just wants to show you what it can do’ as the drake leaps forward and chomps down on his leg. [dice roll]
Wow, I just … Drakes … Drakes are not my forte, okay? So the drake rushes up the stairs in its excitement it lashes out at The Doomsinger who nimbly darts backwards. It then whips around and tries to snap at Tobe, who falls out of the way in panic. And, using both of its attacks, completely fails to land a single hit on either of these targets.
So? What does The Doomsinger do in reaction?
Myx: I’m imagining that after this drake attempted, he just flicks his hair back.
Doomsinger: He flicks his hair back?
Myx: He is, oh, vicious mockery.
Doomsinger: He dances a couple of steps back and he whips out his lute and holds it up on one shoulder and does The Road to El Dorado [fast string noise], as he stares it down. “Back, ye foul nave! {laughs triumphantly}” His words sound different than usual. Rather than the husky, rich tones you’re used to, they sound magically infused.
GM: And, what is the save? [dice roll] Natural 20. [claps] So, the drake just looks at him and is like [slobbering roars]. He tried to cast a spell, and the creature is totally uneffected. It does not give a fuck what Doomsinger has to say.
Doomsinger: And he’s just really upset by that because everybody has to care what The Doomsinger has to say.
{laughs}
Doomsinger: He learned Draconic for this! But the drake does not care.
Tobe: Really fucking fast apparently.
{laughs}
Mhurren: Was he talking in Draconic?!
GM: No, no, no, no. He knows like three words of Draconic. Does he stay where he is?
Myx: No, he’s not. He thinks, even though that backfired, he’s still pretty fucking confident. He’s fine.
Doomsinger: Yeah. He’s drunk and he’s like, “No. I got this.” {laughs}
Myx: Yeah, and he swishes his hair again.
Doomsinger: “Don’t worry, Tobe. I’ve got you covered.”
Tobe: “Fantastic.”
GM: Seeing its reptilian friend find its way up the stairs, the second drake of the night runs around the stairs and makes its way to the top of the platform. And you guys are now looking at two very large, feral lizards. They are six foot long at least. These aren’t as big as some of the ones you saw in town. They clearly aren’t adults, but they are large and they are powerful and they should not be taken lightly. Myx.
Myx: Yo. Myx is going to target the drake that is just in front of The Doomsinger. She’s going to point at him, “You!” And she casts an eldritch blast.
GM: You turn {laughs}, look at the drake and go, “You!” And as you do, you fire out a blast. It shoots past The Doomsinger, who’s only just returning his lute to it’s satchel. It smashes the drake in the face as … So, you’ve got to imagine he’s mocking it. It’s turning around and snarling wildly at him. And as it turns and snaps at him, a vicious blast smashes it in the side of face and it kind of [roars]. It lowers itself on its haunches and rears up its back legs like its getting ready to pounce and it changes angle from The Doomsinger slightly, aims directly at you.
Myx: Help. I am gonna move back. I’m gonna move to be closer to Scraw. He will keep me safe. {laughs}
GM: You run over the trapped area. You are aware of the traps, but you did say you were running. Make a DEX save to see how nimbly you navigate this area.
Myx: So fucking nimbly.
GM: You are very, very, fucking lucky.
Myx: {laughs} That could have been impalement, so yeah.
GM: You dash backwards. “I’ve got to get closer to Scraw. Scraw will protect me!” {laughs} And you go to put your foot down, just as you realize that the stonework is a slightly different color, and just fall to one side of it as you back away out of the area with the dodgy stone.
Myx: Myx now proceeds to safely hide behind Scraw.
GM: Mhurren you are looking around, watching these drakes as you hear a snarling behind you and a smashing of stones clashing together as one of these drakes pulls itself up the ledge.
Mhurren: Jesus!
GM: He’s just [chomping roars]. And it uses pretty much it’s entire movement to just haul itself up there. It can hear something’s going on, but it doesn’t want to run towards the stairs.
They’re normally fed from this platform, so the fact that its brothers have fled the area, it knows something is up. It goes to where the food is and the food isn’t being delivered, so it’s just hauled itself up. [roars]
Tobe.
Tobe: Totally fucked what I was going to do {laughs}, because there’s one thing Tobe, he doesn’t want to do, is run away from one drake and into the line of sight of another one, but I don’t want to stay where I am. {laughs} But I don’t want to move into danger either.
Myx: Hide with me!
Tobe: Um, yeah, despite what I was gonna do, I’m gonna use my action to disengage and escape back past the trapped area.
GM: So, you see the drake turn its head as it gets hit in the face by the eldritch blast and you use that moment to back away out of its range and then as quickly as you are able, nimbly step around the spike traps. What is the owl doing?
Tobe: Nah, I’m just gonna have it flee around, because I’m pretty sure if it attacks a drake, it’s just gonna end up as dinner.
GM: {laughs} Turn around. “You, get over here. You don’t have a name. Follow me.”
Tobe: Tobe will sort that out later.
GM: Mhurren. You don’t catch any of the words, but directly ahead of you and to the northwest, you see that there is a stairwell that leads out of the area that you are currently in and that appears to be where the kobold ran. You don’t hear any of the words, but you do hear, [unintelligible high pitched conversation]. You hear lots of chittering. And it seems like it’s Draconic, but you don’t catch any of what’s being said. And Erbak, it is now your turn.
Erbak: I’m just going to yell out, “Back, behind the trap!” And I’m going to carefully shuffle to, just to that square next to the owl.
GM: So, you move back 15, 20 feet. You step back over the trapped area and evade the traps knowing where they are.
Erbak: I’m going to try and toll that one.
GM: You sneak over the spike trap, you turn around and you try to gauge whether or not any of them have taken damage, because you weren’t paying too much attention to what was happening. And, that one looks kind of hurt. It looks angry. That, that’s probably … And you focus, and you yourself hear the ringing of the bell but the creature doesn’t appear to react. It’s almost as if the sound of its own snarls is overpowering your magical abilities.
So, Mhurren. You see everyone retreating back over the trapped area and Erbak did shout, “Go back over the traps!” What do you wish to do?
Mhurren: Before I do that, I just run over to The Doomsinger and I’m gonna try and …
GM: You rush over to The Doomsinger. You see the drake that’s targeting him. It’s slashing around wildly, snarling and growling. You whip your mace down in a big, wide arc and it collides with the side of it’s head. The drake swings around, turning its face towards you and you follow up with your knee directly into the bottom of its jaw. Its head reels backwards and as you do so, you bring your mace hand into your left hand. You bring them both down together on top of its skull and with an almighty crack, the drake drops to the ground. [impact sound]
Mhurren: Oh {laughs}.
Myx: Woo! One down.
Mhurren: I was going to try and make it over to this spot right behind the trapped area. “Doomsinger! Back here!”
GM: You make it across the trapped area, no problem.
Scraw: Scraw sees The Doomsinger. He sees that you’re all retreating. “{sighs} All right.” He just walks over here and puts his glaive down on the ground and goes, “Whatever, fine. I see what you’re doing. We’ll have it your way.” And he doesn’t put the glaive down on the ground, he just stands with it in front of you guys and just readies his glaive in front of him. “Doomsinger, you better bring them over here.”
Tobe: {laughs} “You’re the bait.”
Doomsinger: And the Doomsinger, seeing the quick work that Mhurren made of the drake in front of him, goes, “A swift exit would probably be prudent.”
Myx: “Get your butt over here.”
Doomsinger: “Yes, indeed. My … butt.” {laughs} And he rushes past and he deftly steps around the trapped areas and he pulls out his lute, turns around with a flourish and goes, {saucily} “Here, kitty, kitty.”
{laughs}
Myx: Uncomfortable.
Tobe: Yeah. {laughs}
Mhurren: I like it.
Myx: Myx is just kind of looking at The Doomsinger and remember that he’s inebriated and maybe that explains it.
Doomsinger: “Oh my, yes I am.”
GM: So, the guard drake runs from the top of the stairs, takes a chunk out of its fallen compatriot as it runs by, bites into it, gnashes it off. And as its charging towards you, drake blood is just pouring out of its mouth.
Myx: {grossed out exclamation}
GM: And it [dice roll] does, indeed, step on one of the traps. As it rushes towards you, Myx, it slams its foot down on one of the stone areas and you watch as that area collapses and its foot falls, and it doesn’t fall quite as far as you might as expected. It actually only falls half a foot or so, but as it does so, the creature reels back and screeches, continues its charge towards you. So, it is now going to attack you, Myx. [dice roll]
As it chomps its jaws down on your leg.
Myx: Oh, my god.
GM: As it bites down and shakes its head from side to side. I did say, before this fight started, not to underestimate them.
Myx: Myx is bleeding a bit.
GM: So, it’s thrashing around and it’s pretty feral. It’s not really … It’s not that it’s unintelligent, but it doesn’t really perceive any of you as threats. So, it’s not going to target one or the other.
Scraw: Scraw, who was standing there readied, with his glaive, once the creature is in range, whips his glaive around to strike it [dice roll] and fails completely to do so. His glaive slams into the wall next to him. And he’s like, “Ah, god no. This is the exact opposite of what I wanted!” He rolled a natural one.
Tobe: He’s just so depressed that we haven’t let him fight anything. {laughs}
Scraw: Yeah, he’s just lost his edge and it’s all your fault.
GM: So, now the drake, biting down on Myx still, is going to …
Myx: Leave me alone?
GM: Whip The Doomsinger with its tail, as it thrashes around with you in its mouth. It whips its tail around to try and hit The Doomsinger, who then nimbly jumps back and says, “Na-na-na-na-boo-boo.”
{laughs}
Erbak: That’s … okay.
Mhurren: Was that Draconic?
GM: It’s the only Draconic he knows. Myx, it is your turn. You aren’t being grappled in any way, however, your leg hurts a little bit.
Myx: I’m moving away. We’re disengaging. Moving away.
GM: It’s got a taste for Myx now.
Myx: Well, it can bite someone else that isn’t me. Can I take a little pebble, toss it at its nose and then run away?
GM: Yes, you can. {laughs} Crouch down as though you’re about to attend to your leg, and instead, as you’re crouching down to attend to your leg, you see that there’s a little rock and you think, “I know what I’m gonna do.” You pick up the little pebble and you’re like, “Kya!”
{laughs}
GM: You throw it at its nose and it blinks as it tries to focus on the incoming target. At that exact moment, you dash away, as far as your little feet can carry you. Oh, shit … So you guys are not being quiet anymore. You are no longer being silent in this big room. [claps]
{groans}
GM: So, this is something that you guys avoided before because you were sneaking through.
Erbak: Welp, this is gonna be fun.
{laughs}
GM: So, as you guys are backing away from this trap and the drake rushes over and slams its face around at it, starts biting Myx and she screams out in pain and it’s ripping at The Doomsinger. It’s thrashing around. Scraw’s slamming his glaive against the wall. You guys all suddenly hear [keening screeches]. Tons of screeches, and the air is filled with bats.
Tobe: Oh, fuck.
GM: Literally, everywhere. You cannot see for bats. And, in fact, you can’t see more than five foot in front of you face as there are so many bats.
Tobe: Christ.
Mhurren: Bats for days.
Myx: … floor, flat like a pancake, can I see?
GM: Maybe, but you would be prone and that would make physical attacks against you have advantage.
Myx: Okay. Let’s not do that.
GM: So, Myx. You rush away from the drake.
Myx: The ouch.
GM: And you disengaged as your action. Tobe.
Tobe: My vision’s impaired by bats!
GM: Yes, there are bats fluttering all around your head and the owl is next to you scre- [frightened hoots].
Tobe: Gonna have to find out how to get rid of that owl without killing it. Can I still see the drake?
GM: You can actually see only as far as Mhurren right now.
Tobe: I’m just gonna take a tactical retreat because I don’t want to accidentally incinerate {laughs} my friend.
GM: The bats, for the record, they’re not flying out of the area. They’re just flying around in a dazed panic. You retreat backwards, trying to find an area of relative safety. You’re just trying to move away from where you know the drake is. Rather than trying to attack where you think it might be.
Tobe: I’m going to hold primal savagery in case anything comes close enough to attack me.
GM: So now it is this other drake’s turn.
Myx: He’s going to stay right where he is, right? Mm-hmm {affirmative}?
GM: Well, actually, none of you can see down there at the moment, so none of you have any idea what he does.
Myx: Aw, that’s bullshit.
GM: You can no longer see what the drake is doing. Erbak, you feel a sharp pinch in the back of your neck. Now it is your turn. Where that sharp pinch in the back of your neck was before, you now feel a consistent sharp burning pain.
Erbak: So, I’m going to reach my hand to it immediately, trying to determine what it is.
GM: So, you reach your hand around and you feel there’s something there.
Erbak: Okay. Is it large or small?
GM: It’s about hand sized. What you feel is, it feels like skin. It feels like imagine elven skin, hairless, smooth. But, as you feel around, it’s about the size of a small rodent and in many ways, it’s actually shaped a lot like a small rodent, however, as you move around, you also feel that it has leathery, smooth skinned wings, and whatever it is is very firmly attached to the back of your neck.
Erbak: Hmm.
Myx: This doesn’t bode well.
GM: And it’s continuing to hurt you.
Erbak: I’m just going to grab it and yank it off.
GM: You grab the thing on the back of your neck. You pull it and as you do so, the burning sensation immediately turns into a sharp agony, but then subsides. As you look down in your hands, you see what looks as though someone had fused a bird skull to a bat and given it a long, thin, needle-like proboscis.
Erbak: Is it alive or dead? Have I crushed it as I pulled it off?
GM: You’ve probably killed it.
Erbak: As I have collection jars and et cetera for bits and bobs?
GM: Yeah.
Erbak: Can I stuff it in a jar?
GM: You can stuff it in your jar and you keep it with your component pouch.
Erbak: Put it in a sealed jar.
GM: Yeah. So, you guys came into this cave from the southwest. Towards your north face there is a drop-off. To the southeast there is a stairwell which leads down to a heavy, leathery looking curtain which you have seen previously. All of which Erbak would probably be aware of but you cannot see more than five foot in front of your face at the moment.
Erbak: Okay. I’m gonna try and feel my way towards where the leathery curtain bit was.
GM: Mhurren, you can see the drake, because it’s directly in front of you.
Mhurren: Mm-hmm {affirmative}.
GM: It stood on one of the trapped areas, hurt itself and then is no longer fussed.
Mhurren: Okey-doke. All right. I’m gonna try and do the thing I did before. So, I’m gonna attack with the mace first.
GM: Yep. So, you bring down your mace. You swing at the drake and it snaps at you and as it does so, you pull your hand back at the last second to avoid your hand ending up in its mouth, but it avoids your blow by extension.
Mhurren: Okay. I’ll try for an unarmed strike.
GM: Pulling your hand back while it’s distracted, you bring your other fist around to try and get it in the side of the head, but then you remember, lizards have eyes on the side of their head. That’s literally what they see from and it dodges out of the way and snaps at you again.
Tobe, you are looking around and trying to keep a wary eye out as this flurry of bats flies around and you feel a sharp stabbing pain right between your shoulder blades. Using your primal savagery, your fingers extend, claw like appendages as you whip your arm around behind you and grab hold of the creature. You rip it out and it dies in your hand as you dig your fingers into it, creepy, bat-like creature, furless and alien looking.
Tobe: {grossed out groan} Kind of takes it off of his hand like, “Ugh.” {laughs} He is not interested in finding out what that was. Stabbing his fingers into it was really gross.
GM: You were the one that chose primal savagery, mother fucker {laughs}.
Tobe: Yeah, but I wasn’t expecting it to go through some weird bat creature.
Doomsinger: Mhurren, you hear The Doomsinger cry out. [dice roll] Oooh, [dice roll] oooh, fuck me. Natural 20. And, it’s only a d4 damage dice, but it rolled max damage. This must be a big fucker. Mhurren, you hear The Doomsinger cry out, “{painful surprise} This sucks!” However, once that happens, he seems to quiet down very quickly, as though the pain is not persisting. It’s just an extremely quick bout of pain. He whips around looking for the source of it, but finds nothing. He pats himself down. “Mhurren, something’s attacking me. You should be protecting me better. What are you doing, man? What good are you? Argh, bugger this.” And he salsa dances away as he plays his lute, tiptoeing backwards away from the drake.
The drake is mildly hypnotized by his lute playing as he’s like, [jaunty tune]. “{singing} Leave me the fuck alone.”
Mhurren: Mhurren is mildly distracted.
Doomsinger: So, he just backs away.
Scraw: Scraw is going to wander over in the direction of the screaming Doomsinger who is no longer there and see in front of him a great big ol’ drake. He turns and he goes to swing his glaive down but as he does so, he turns and through the flurry of bats he realizes how close Mhurren is. He goes, “No, look out!” And he pulls his glaive back at the last second, at which point the guard drake has just enough time to backstep out of the way. It does not succeed.
GM: Erbak, now that you know that these creatures exist, you definitely see it when this one attacks you, as the stirge flies out of the cloud of bats. And the reason that you see it is it lands on your face and drives its proboscis into the top of your skull.
Erbak: This is problematic.
GM: Myx.
Myx: Mm-hmm {affirmative}?
GM: Nothing happens and you don’t see anything. So, you have nothing to be concerned about. You’re just surrounded by bats. The drake is going to strike at Mhurren. So, it bites down on you, Mhurren, and as it’s biting down on you, it whips Scraw with its tail, but Scraw steps out of the way and it does not land on him.
Scraw: Scraw turns to you and says, “Are you okay? You’re looking hurt friend. Maybe you should step back. MEDIC! Doctor! Get yourself over here and help this man! Doomsinger, bring your magic!”
GM: Myx.
Myx: How would the bats react to light? What I’m going to do is I’m gonna feel around on the ground for another rock or pebble or something and then I’m going to cast the cantrip light on it.
GM: Yeah, you manage to find a small rock.
Myx: I’m gonna cast light on it, so no matter what size it is, it’s gonna get real bright, real fast.
GM: You pick up the small rock and you cast light.
Myx: And I’m going to take this little gleaming pebble/rock and hold it up above my head and wave it around in hopes that.
GM: And now you can see bats real clearly, swooshing around in front of you. And you can see further away, but they’re still heavily obscuring your vision because what happens is as they try to keep away from you, that just means they’re flying more densely in the area around that area of light.
Myx: How much further can I see now that I’ve done this?
GM: I’d say you can see another five or so foot. They’re trying to keep about 10 foot away. There’s not a huge amount of room for them to keep their distance from you.
Myx: Sure.
GM: So you can now see the pillar to your left and you can see the stone wall to your right.
Myx: Seeing as we’re not being quiet anymore, I’m gonna shout to my party members, “If you can see the light, come walk towards it.”
GM: No one can see the light, because they are surrounded by more bats. You were chasing the bats away from you towards all of them.
Myx: Ehmmm. Myx is just gonna stay put, because she doesn’t know what else to do for now.
GM: Tobe.
Tobe: Hmm. I think I’m just gonna back up until my back hits something, because I don’t want something to bite me between the shoulder blades again. I’m not doing so good. I’m not doing good at all. And, I’m gonna hold another primal savagery. It was an unpleasant experience, but it damn sure did kill the fucking thing. I want to tell my owl to keep an eye out for them fucking things as well.
GM: Mhurren, in the distance, those chattering voices that you heard earlier, which were quite quiet, are now loud screeches. [loud chittering conversation] Erbak.
Erbak: First of all, I’m gonna pull this motherfucker off my head. Well, I’m gonna rip it off again, which seemed to kill it last time.
GM: You grab hold of this creature and your rip it out and in doing so, it does cause it to die.
Erbak: I still got my big ass woolen traveling cloak. So, I am going to throw it over myself or at least squat down to the point where nothing is exposed. I’m literally hiding under the blankets.
GM: So, you go prone underneath your traveling cloak. If you were to crouch walk with your cloak over you, then I will allow you to do so for half of your full movement.
Erbak: Okay. I’m going to use that and try and head down the steps.
GM: Mhurren, what do you do?
Mhurren: Once again, I’m gonna try and do that thing I’ve been trying to do, but first, I’ll try and attack this drake that’s in my face. So, I’m gonna try and do the flurry of blows. Natural 20.
GM: Okay, you bring your mace down. You smack its jaws away as it’s trying to bite at you the second time. And then, throwing your mace down, you bring your elbow in to try and strike it, and it swings its head backwards to dodge the blow. And as it swings its head backwards, you bring your other hand up. You slam your palm into the bottom of its chin. The creature falls limp to the ground, prone. It’s not unconscious yet. It’s dazed.
Mhurren: I’ll turn to Scraw, point down, “Finish him off.” And I will book it out of there. Just gonna run.
GM: You blindly run through the bats until you find a wall.
Mhurren: Generally the opposite way.
GM: Nina, what does The Doomsinger do?
Myx as Doomsinger: He is going to cast dancing lights. And the idea is, him literally make a square around him. Seeing as he’s in a corner and he came from the scary way, he is going to move and then, I guess, as his bonus action, he will move the light with him.
GM: He’d be able to see Mhurren at that point.
Myx as Doomsinger: “Priest. Protect me.”
Mhurren: “Oh, there you are!” {laughs}
Doomsinger: He turns around and sees Mhurren, and Mhurren is looking almost as bad as he is. They’re both looking exhausted and badly beaten.
Mhurren: “I can’t protect you if I can’t see you.”
Myx as Doomsinger: “Well, now you can. You have no excuse.”
Mhurren: “Right.”
Scraw: Scraw [dice roll] finally fucking hits something.
{yays}
Scraw: And not only that, it’s actually a natural 20. It’s the Critical Role dice that Vinny bought for me.
{awws}
Scraw: Scraw’s about to fucking lay some waste into some shit. All in the distance, despite the fluttering and screeching of bats, you just hear, [hard grunt] “Everything’s fine now!”
{laughs}
Scraw: [reverberating] “Come to the sound of my voice. {sings} Over here. Walk towards me.”
Myx: Myx is not, if she hears this, is not convinced because as far as she remembers, if that’s where she thinks the sound is coming from, it’s not safe over there.
Scraw: “{singing} Everything’s fine.”
Myx: So, I move very carefully.
{laughs}
Scraw: “{singing} Everything’s fine. Come over here. I’m very good at this.”
Doomsinger: You walk forwards and there’s just like balls of light. You look down at the little glowing rock in your hand and you look at the glowing lights floating in the air and Doomsinger looks at you and goes, “Well, that’s not very impressive is it.” And Doomsinger is going to expend one of his cure wounds on himself, because he is almost dead. And he is, without prompting, going to do the same for Mhurren. And he does a better job on you, Mhurren, then he did on himself. And he looks at you, Myx, “Hmm, perhaps you should have the doctor look at you.”
Myx: … her pebble of light and throws it in the direction of The Doomsinger defiantly.
Doomsinger: He takes it in stride.
Tobe: Can I at least tell what direction the shouting’s in?
GM: You can definitely hear. Scraw is a very loud person.
{laughs}
Tobe: I’ll be heading in that direction. Because unlike Myx, he strangely has come to at least somewhat trust Scraw.
GM: So, you start wandering in that direction and as you do so, you step through a wall of bats and you see you step into an area filled with light and Myx is just standing there with a little rock looking cross.
Tobe: “Um, are you okay?”
Myx: “I-I don’t like him. I don’t like him anymore. Stupid elf man.”
Tobe: “Oh. Just okay, what did I miss?”
Myx: “Tobe, are you okay? That was, that was everywhere. Bats, bats still everywhere.”
Tobe: I look very rough. {laughs}
GM: You both look as rough as each other right now. You both look absolutely ragged.
Erbak: I’m gonna make my way back as well, but very carefully.
Scraw: So, you’re just heading towards, “Guys, everything’s . Horray, horray. Oh, hi Doomsinger. It’s good to see … Oh, Mhurren. Mhurren. Great. Yeah. I did!” Mhurren, you see that there is a glaive buried deeply into the skull of the drake and he’s pointing at it proudly, going, “Look! It me!”
[music]
Narrator: Hey there, friend. You look like you need a coffee. Why don’t you take a quick moment to settle down, throw the kettle on, get yourself a hot, steamy brew, and in the meantime, here’s something just a little bit different.
Rob: It is a dark and stormy night. The wind lashing down and your facing against your greatest challenge yet. A player has gone in the wrong direction. We’ve all been there. You got a story planned out and this player heads off in the wrong direction, and you’ve got nothing to fill that gap.
Well, my name’s Rob and I’ve started a podcast to help you. The podcast is called Loremasters and each week, I bring you something for your game. It could be a hook. It could be a object. It could be a person. It could be a city. It could be a whole story arc. If you’re a dungeon master and you want some inspiration, please check us out wherever you find podcasts. And remember, you’re not alone.
[music]
GM: You have all made your way over. I think Tobe and Myx were chatting about how …
Myx: Stupid The Doomsinger is.
{laughs}
GM: I mean, he’s just prioritizing saving his abilities for when someone might need them. Like, you know, if they were dead.
Myx: He can suck on a stirge.
Erbak: Which one of Erbak is going to stick in his pockets and just bitterly yell, “What about the third drake?”
Scraw: “I don’t know. It’s not here. Didn’t come over and fight. Cowardly!”
GM: There’s still bats all around you guys, by the way. But they’re not blocking your vision anymore because of the orbs of light that The Doomsinger is still turning with him and Myx’s little glowy rock. But, there are still bats flying everywhere.
Scraw: Scraw’s just like, “I don’t know. But we killed this one.”
Myx: Oh, I’d like to add that even though I threw my glowy rock at Doomsinger, I picked it back up.
Mhurren: “Uh, I think it may have gone that way. Um, well, we, we probably shouldn’t head back through because of the drake.”
Scraw: “I mean, maybe we should. There are several of us now and if we-we’re prepared for it, we can take it. And if we’re not surrounded by bats, that will probably help.”
Tobe: “Not being surrounded by buh- bleh … {laughs} By bats would probably help you hit something.”
Scraw: “{yelling} How very bloody dare you! I’ve had enough of this slander. I’m leaving.”
Tobe: “Right.” {laughs}
Scraw: he just storms across the trap area. “OW!”
Tobe: “Definitely don’t stay here, because there is some shit flying around that’s … I’ve been attacked by something. I’m not quite sure what it was, but I don’t want to stay in this pile of bats, because whatever it is, there’s probably more of them.”
Erbak: “Two of them attacked me. I’ve got one in a jar. It’s far too dangerous.”
{laughs}
Tobe: Tobe does actually follow Scraw across the trapped area because he… .
GM: Hopefully more carefully than Scraw did in his temper, because he just …
Tobe: Yeah, I’m being careful, but I am hoping that there are less bats up ahead.
GM: When you move out into that area, you see that the bats aren’t straying away from this main cave. It looks like, for whatever reason, this is where they roost and …
Tobe: They’re not willing to leave.
GM: Yeah, this is their home. You guys are the ones intruding. So, once you move out of that area of the cave, the bats are behind you.
Tobe: Well, of course, there’s also a drake in the other room.
GM: Looking around, you do not see any sign of the drake.
Tobe: Oh, I’m more worried about that than I am really. “Um, where’d it go?”
Scraw: “I don’t know. I-I didn’t kill this one.” And he points at the one by the stairs. “Mhurren did that.”
Tobe: “Eee, yeah.”
Scraw: “And I did that.”
Mhurren: I’m following along.
GM: You follow along, Mhurren. And you step out from the bats and you see that there’s no sign of the third drake that you can tell, either.
Erbak: Well, if they’ve all gone over there, then I’m going to just hoof after them, taking care of the traps as I go.
GM: You’re all going {laughs}. Out of the bat cave area, the Doomsinger dismisses his lights. As you step out, you can see, quite clearly, the platformed area and you see no sign of the drake.
Myx: That’s not comforting. What if he was only a drake baby and he went to go get his drake momma.
Erbak: I move a bit away from that set of stairs.
GM: The gate is still open at the bottom of the stairs.
Erbak: Staying away. Away. I am bitter and angry. I have been bitten twice and I am not very happy about this.
Tobe: As foolhardy as it probably is for me to go investigating things {laughs} I am now going to do what I was originally going to do at the start of the fight before there were drakes everywhere, and investigate the stairs that that kobold disappeared on.
GM: Okay.
Tobe: Stealthing. I am not going loudly. As quietly as I can because I don’t want there to actually be something there that can notice me and hurt me.
GM: So, you do your best to creep over to the stairs. You cross the platform to the stairs that leave the room to the west and you get there and you see that they are a set of stairs that lead upwards. At the top of the stairs, you do see something. You can’t quite tell what it is. It’s not something large. It’s not something that’s standing there. There’s just something sticking out over the edge of the stairwell at the very top.
Tobe: But I can’t tell what it is .
GM: You can’t really tell what it is from this angle. The stairs curve upwards and they go up quite a ways, and you can’t quite see. You can see that there’s something sticking out from the top of the stairs. At floor level, there is something that’s there, but you can’t quite see what it is.
Tobe: Is it dark up there or is there any light at all?
GM: It’s dark, but there’s distant light.
Tobe: I turn to Oz on my shoulder, “Hey, um, Oz, do you want to do me a favor?”
Oz: “Maybe?”
Tobe: “Go and …”
Oz: “I don’t like caves much.”
Tobe: “I-I know. I know you don’t but, I’m not feeling too good and I don’t want to…”
Oz: “You’re looking a little worse for wear and I … I’ll give you that.”
Tobe: “So, if you could just do me a favor and go and see if you can find out what that is at the top of the stairs for me, please.”
Oz: “Okay. I, I’ve, I can probably do that.”
Tobe: “Thanks Oz.”
Oz: And so, he flies up to the top of the roof of the stairwell and flaps gently forwards. “Urgh. That’s messy. Um …”
Tobe: “Oh.”
Oz: “At the top of the stairs. Look, there’s … It was a kobold, I think.”
Tobe: “Oh.”
Oz: “It’s not a kobold anymore. {laughs}”
Tobe: “Is there anything else up there?”
Oz: “Um, not that I can see from here. I’d have to probably go, go a bit further in. Do you, do you want me to do that?”
Tobe: “Uh, no, no, no. Come back for now.”
Oz: “Okay. I didn’t really want to.”
Tobe: I’m kind of concerned that if I do send him on, he’s gonna get eaten by something. {laughs}
Oz: “That was messy. That was a messy kobold. Bits, bits everywhere.”
Tobe: “It was in bits. Oh, god.”
Oz: “Oh, yeah. I think what you’re seeing,” and he drops down onto the floor and tilts his head. “I think that’s an arm.”
Tobe: “Oh. Oh.”
Oz: He’s bobbing his head around. “Yeah. Yeah. I think that was the arm. Mm-hmm {affirmative}. Yep.”
Tobe: “Okay. That’s enough details for now, Oz.” Where is everyone else in relation to me?
Erbak: Standing here in the hall waiting for the rest of the party to move.
Myx: I haven’t really moved around.
Mhurren: Mhurren would like to investigate further up along on this level of the platform, just wanted to find out if there were any more paths.
GM: You wander down past the stairwell. You see Tobe looking up the stairs, narrowing his eyes. You pass him and you continue to follow the edge of the platform. It seems to lead to a dead end. The platform still has the dropoff and you stand at the top of the platform looking down over into what appears to be a very large pit-like area. And that is where the drakes were. And you can see that it’s like a very large, deep pit. And you can see various bits of refuse, bone, lots of animal waste {laughs} from here, but you don’t see any extra paths. You just see that the area in which the drakes previously, presumably, lived.
Tobe, other than Mhurren, who walked past you while you were looking up the stairs, everyone seems to have just stood around waiting.
Scraw: Scraw’s disappointedly realized that the other drake wasn’t here and is like, “All right, well. At least I don’t have to be around that bugbear hater.”
GM: Looking back at the bat swarm, you do occasionally catch glimpses of skin tone flashing by, but they don’t seem to leave the bat swarm. You get the impression they were using the bat swarm for cover so that they could ambush their prey and that they’re not particularly proficient predators. So, none of them come out and attack you once you’re out of the bat swarm.
Over the next few minutes, while you guys are being quiet, nothing’s happening over there. You do see that the bats slowly begin to return to roosting and calm down and stop flying all over the place.
Tobe: Tobe turns to the rest of the group, not whispering, but not too loud either. I tell them that, “Hey, I think I know where that other drake went.”
Scraw: Scraw perks up.
Tobe: And I’m pointing up the stairs.
Scraw: Scraw just looks at the rest of you and goes, “Well, then, uh, shall we?”
Myx: “Is it safe?”
Tobe: “I mean…a-according to Oz there is a, um, or there was, a kobold up there.” {laughs} There is.
Scraw: “What do you mean was?”
Tobe: “Uh, it’s in, it’s in bits.”
Scraw: “Oh, bits.”
Tobe: “It’s in bits apparently. So, uh, if we’re going up there, try, I guess, not to slip on the blood and viscera that’s laying at the top of the stairs.”
Scraw: “Well, what if I go first and all of you zappy people back me up?”
Tobe: “That’s a great idea.”
Scraw: “I’ll go do it. I-I’m ready to kill something, again, because I’m very good at KILLING THINGS. Nobody can say otherwise.”
Tobe: “You go, buddy. You go.”
Scraw: “Mhurren, would you like to accompany me or?”
Mhurren: “Of course. Lead the way.”
Erbak: I’m just gonna hang around with the dead drake corpse that’s right next to us, the one that Mhurren …
GM: Okay, what exactly do want to do with it.
Erbak: I’m just inspecting the kind of horns it’s got, the structure, how the scales are.
GM: Sure.
Erbak: If anything’s impressive, I might take a sample.
GM: Looking it over, the thing that stands out about this particular kind of drake is that it has a quite significant and prominent bone-like horn. The teeth themselves are not particularly prominent but the bone-like structure that protrudes from its skull. It has a almost rhino-like horn that protrudes from the muzzle. It also has bone-like structures that are built into webbing, triceratops style, where it creates a backwards sweeping web of bone and skin that protrude up and backwards from its skull. And they seem like quite interesting defensive capabilities. And despite the fact that this is clearly not mature, it does have the beginnings of some very significant defensive capacity.
Erbak: All right. I’ll see if I can prise off some of the webbing around the horn.
GM: You try to remove some of this, what you describe as webbing, and you realize it’s a lot thicker. It’s actually more like a tough hide. And, in your attempts to remove a section of this, what happens instead is you pull out two of the supporting bone structures. So, you have two long slivers of bone that end in a very prominent spine. Then you follow the rest. Did everyone wait? Or did they just leave Erbak to his grisley?
Erbak: I will admit, I probably did not mention it to anyone else, because I am self absorbed like that.
Myx: I’ve had enough grisley, so probably didn’t.
Tobe: He could …
Scraw: Scraw’s ready to go fight some shit, so he’s fine. Scraw’s going to take up the lead. Mhurren, you wanted to back him up?
Tobe: Tobe’s at the bottom of the stairs.
GM: Okay, so …
Myx: Myx will be near Tobe.
Doomsinger: The Doomsinger is gonna follow, but at a distance.
Mhurren: So, do we see the mess?
GM: From the bottom of the stairs, you don’t see much of anything, and this is a long flight of stairs that leads up and curves away from your current position. So, Scraw, walks up the stairs. You follow closely and you get to the top of the stairwell and as you do so, you see that you are looking out onto a relatively open platform that has a fork.
The left hand fork appears to lead up to some more stairs. The right fork seems to open out into an area that you can’t see much of from the beginning of the stairwell, but there is very obviously a light source inside the right fork area. And, that area opens out much wider.
Tobe, earlier, when you were looking, you noticed that there was something weird about the first step.
Scraw: Mhurren, as Scraw starts walking up the stairs, you see him take a large step over the first step. He turns over his shoulder and goes, “Anybody following me, avoid that. It doesn’t look safe.”
GM: And you notice that the stair itself looks like a concrete slab placed on top of something unevenly and it kind of looks like if you step on it it will seesaw. It looks uneven and it doesn’t look stable. And though that in itself might not present a danger, given the nature of the area you’ve been through so far, you think it’s probably best to avoid it, as per Scraw’s suggestion.
{laughs}
GM: You guys get to the top of the stair, you can see the split corridor and directly in front of you at the top of these stairs is a kobold that has just been torn apart. There is gore everywhere and there is a trail of blood that leads into the right hand fork where you also see another kobold lying against the wall with its hand over its stomach, clearly trying to hold parts of itself in.
Tobe: {grossed out groan}
GM: But it doesn’t appear to be moving and its right leg is missing.
Tobe: Ugh.
Mhurren: Hmm.
GM: There is a sword on the ground next to it that is probably also covered in blood.
Mhurren: Can I move a little bit further in?
GM: As you look down the right hand fork, you’ve made your way across this initial landing platform. You’re looking into the area and you see … What you see is carnage.
Tobe: Bluch.
GM: There are several kobolds and, I mean, in double digits. Torn up, bleeding, there are a couple that are still alive, but clearly won’t be for much longer that are just bleeding out. And you do see the remaining guard drake in here. It is currently distracted, because it is eating one of the kobolds who is still writhing and trying weakly to beat it away. It’s clearly been attacked a lot. It’s taken a lot of damage, but it’s still standing. But it’s currently very, very distracted with its kobold feast.
This area, as well as the corpses everywhere, you do see, that there are a lot of thin mattresses here made of straw. They’re covered in poor quality furs that are now covered in gore. You see various rats and small lizards that are crawling over the corpses and running around, rummaging through this room. Now that there’s clearly far less to disturb them. You see one kobold’s that’s again, resting against the wall, trying to hold bits of itself together, trying to bat away a rat as the rat gets closer and closer, trying to nip at it.
Tobe: Ew.
GM: But it’s using the last of its life to keep this rat at bay. And it looks up at you and it narrows its eyes, says, “For the glory of Tiamat!” And picks up a sword and throws it at you. But, it misses and the sword clatters at your feet. And with that, he blacks out. And the rat takes its opportunity to go to town.
Tobe: {laughs} That’s really dark. {laughs}
Myx: Uh.
Mhurren: While the drake is distracted, sneak back to …
Scraw: Well, Scraw is next to you. “I think we can take it. You and me. We’ve got this. I think if we, if we’re quiet, we can take it down. This also looks like a pretty good place to sleep.”
Mhurren: “That you do.”
Scraw: :”I mean, a bit of a fixer upper, but the others could probably use some rest.”
Mhurren: “dead kobolds, sure.”
Scraw: “{scoffs} Who hasn’t seen a dead kobold or two, eh?”
Tobe: {laugh groans}
Mhurren: Are there actually any kobold left that I can see, that are left alive?
GM: Standing? No. If they were standing, they would be fighting the drake. None of them are standing at this point. They’ve definitely done a number on the drake, but the drake did more of a number on them.
Mhurren: Okay.
Tobe: I get the feeling that they only did such a number on the drake because there are so many of them. {laughs}
GM: Pretty much. They’re kobolds.
Mhurren: I’ll just walk back to the top of the steps. I can see everyone at the bottom, right?
GM: You can.
Mhurren: Put a finger on my mouth, “Shh.” And then just beckon them all.
Scraw: “I really think we can do this better if it’s just the two of us.”
Mhurren: “I think we would have better chance with everybody’s … Oh wait. Do you want the glory for yourself?”
{laughs}
Scraw: “It’s distracted now. It might not be when they get here. We should sneak in and kill it.”
Doomsinger: Doomsinger does not respond.
Tobe: Tobe does creep up the stairs, but stops at the top of the stairs.
Myx: I’m imagining Myx just tripped on her bad leg.
GM: It’s why you failed to be stealthy, because you stepped on the first step. Everybody else sneaks up the stairs and they step over this first step. You’ve been waiting here so long now, you completely just don’t absorb what everyone else is doing, and you step on that first step and all at once you hear, [roaring] as the ceiling collapses.
Tobe: Oof.
GM: You leap backwards and dodge, but an almighty cacophonous crash as the stairwell above the stairs collapses into the stairs below it.
Mhurren: Did she make it through it though?
GM: Nope.
Myx: No.
GM: You’re down at the bottom of the stairs, however, it’s not a cave in. It’s just there was a fake roof which dropped down. So, you can still now walk up the stairs, but there’s just shrapnel everywhere. It made a huge cacophony. And Mhurren, you notice that the drake is now looking at you guys. It’s looked up and Scraw is also looking at you and they’re both giving you the same look.
{laughs}
Mhurren: I just look back at Scraw and just give him two slow thumbs up.
Scraw: “We should get on with this, shouldn’t we?”
Mhurren: “We probably should.”
[dice roll]
GM: The drake looks up and Mhurren and Scraw look at each other and Scraw’s like, “Really? We should get on with this shouldn’t we?” Mhurren says, “I suppose we should.” They both turn, and side by side, run in, charge at the drake, with Mhurren wielding his mace, and Scraw swinging his glaive down at the creature. They both simultaneously deliver a killing blow to the creature and it is felled. You buddy cop it, and it goes down.
And now that you are all at the top of the stairs, you are surrounded by viscera. {laughs}
Erbak: Gonna look and see if I can spot anyone that’s still alive.
GM: At this point? Nope. Everything’s dead. The few that was holding onto their last breaths are very much gone.
Erbak: Just gonna straight up shrug and shrug. “They are all very dead. Probably due to that. Ah, this smell brings back memories.”
Scraw: “I was thinking this would be a good place for a nap. I think we should probably get rid of the, um …”
Mhurren: “Accomodating.”
Tobe: “We should probably like, I don’t know, piles the bits up in a corner or something?” {laughs}
Scraw: {laughs} Scraw just goes over to the one of the mattresses, kicks a half dead kobold off it and goes, “I call this one.”
Tobe: “Of course you do.”
Erbak: “Let’s go”
GM: Sorry, I said a half dead kobold. I meant, half of a dead kobold.
Tobe: {groan laughs} What.
{laughs}
[music]
Ray: And on that delightful note, that’s all we have time for this week. Join us next week for Episode 16: Hedged Bets. Last week we opened up a public Discord where you can hang out and chat with the cast. If you’re interested in joining us, head on over to our website on tftddi.co.uk and hit the envelope icon in the header. We can’t wait to talk to you, and as ever, if you don’t already, head over to Twitter and follow us @darkdragonsinn. Through our website you can subscribe directly to our show, listen to episodes, or read up on our world and character lore.
The song you heard at the beginning of this episode was Extravaganza by TRG Banks and the song you are now hearing is While You Are Here by Ending Satellites. Until next time, travel safe and remember, The Scales of Justice are here for you, always.
