Episode 16: Hedged bets

The audio of this episode can be found directly here; https://tailsfromthedarkdragonsinn.co.uk/campaign-episode-12/

You can find a ‘live transcript’ of the below here; https://youtu.be/mtL4QJV78_I

This transcript is colour coded for ease of use. Please download the PDF.

Tobe as played by Liz

Myx as played by Nina

Mhurren as played by Vinny

Erbak as played by Tom

Narrator/Scraw/GM/Everything else as played by Ray

[Audio Description]

{Tone Guide/Sarcasm etc}


Ray: Hello, and welcome to Tails from the Dark Dragons Inn, Episode 16: Hedged Bets. I’m going to keep this one brief. If you haven’t yet, head over to Twitch.tv/roll4 (that’s the number 4) change and watch the rerun of Game 2. I took part in a fantastic game of Masks run by my new friend Taylor. Whilst you’re there, make a donation to Roll4Change and help them to raise money for childrensdefense.org. It’s a fantastic charity and it’s doing a lot to help children in the United States.

Host: “Quick. Come on in. I think he’s ready to get started.”

Doomsinger: “Today is a tale I tell with sorrow in my heart. I do not wish to reveal the truth to you all, but the truth must be told.”

Erbak: Scraw’s already gone and …

Scraw: He kicked a kobold off a bed and plopped himself down against a wall. “This seems comfortable enough. I’m fine with whatever. I think we should rest, though.”

Tobe: “I am definitely seconding that opinion.”

Myx: “I am thirding the resting.”

Mhurren: “Agreed.”

Erbak: “I’m thinking if we’re going to rest, we may want to get Oz or Darconius to stand guard and doubly…”

Tobe: “Just like an alert system?”

Erbak: “Anything really, I don’t …”

Doomsinger: The Doomsinger turns and says, “No, no. If you wish to rest, I will keep watch. I’m feeling perfectly fine.” He walks towards the entrance to the area that you guys are sitting in.

GM: So, presumably at this point, you’ve all moved into the kobold area.

Tobe: I’m looking for the least {laughs} viscera covered mattress.

Doomsinger: The Doomsinger wanders over to the entrance and he stands there by the space near the top of the hall and he’s just looking around furtively. “I could sing you a little ditty if you’d like?”

Myx: “Uh, no. Th-th-that’s okay.”

Doomsinger: “No. No. Allow me.” And he {laughs} pulls out his lute and begins to play a song of rest. [ditty plays]

Myx: Oh. That’s not Tetris. {laughs}

GM: No, not quite Tetris.

Erbak: I recognize it, but…

Mhurren: “Never heard it, this one before.”

Doomsinger: “I’m a little bit out of practice.” One of his strings snaps. He’s like, “Ugh, blast. Hang on.” And he spends most of his time just restringing his lute. “Hang on. Hang on. I, I’ll lo- It’ll be a wonderful melody. Just have to bear with me.”

Myx: “But we could provide backing vocals. Or, or rhythms or something.”

Scraw: “I’d rather sleep than have anything to do with that.”

Myx: Myx is glaring very, very squintily eyed at Scraw.

Scraw: Scraw don’t give a shit.

Erbak: “So, is anyone going to do anything with all these dead kobolds? There’s a lot of meat here. I’m just saying.”

Myx: “Uh, I’d rather not.”

Tobe: I’m giving the most disgusted look. “Ugh.”

Myx: “I mean …”

Scraw: “Do as you will.”

Myx: “Thanks doctor, but no thanks. I’ll pass.”

Erbak: “Okie-doke.” I’m going to try and just get a few rations out of these guys.

Scraw: Scraw doesn’t sleep. He sits down on the mattress and he just spends the entire time glowering at The Doomsinger, who is doing his best to play something a little upbeat and whimsical but Scraw’s just not having any of it.

Erbak: Er, by the way, I rolled a whopping 4 for survival.

GM: You managed to get enough during this rest period to satiate your current needs, but you do not. You don’t find anything of any kind of substantial longevity, shall we say. I mean, it’s all kobolds that have just been torn apart. A lot of the meat has been fouled by the torn intestines and the like. So, it’s actually not really edible at this point, so you can’t turn them into rations, unfortunately.

Erbak: Sat in the back corner, obviously shredding some kobolds. I’m doing a bad job of it.

Tobe: I am sitting as far away from that mess as possible and trying to get a little bit of shut eye leaning against a wall; trying not to think about the lizardman.

GM: Trying to block out the horror. Every now and again, you blink as you’re drifting off. You blink your eyes, you open them and you see Oz pecking at something.

Tobe: {gags}

GM: He is a raven. {laughs} It is what he do.

Tobe: I imagine Tobe’s probably a little bit used to Oz doing it more than.

GM: Yeah, you’re just like, “Oh, god. I wish you wouldn’t …”

Myx: Myx is sitting down in like a meditative position. Take it easy. And Darconius is perched up on my head, keeping a lookout, naturally, as my little buddy would want to help out.

Darconius: Darconius is looking around and he’d want to keep an eye on you, but you sense a little bit of preternatural hunger in him also.

Myx: “Darconius, do you need to eat?”

Darconius: “I wouldn’t go amiss.”

Myx: “Okay.”

Darconius: “All of this is just going to waste, really.”


Myx: “I-I don’t mind if you do-“

Darconius: “Okay, bye!”


Myx: “{stammers} Oh, okay.”

Darconius: You just feel him rush off your head and …

Myx: I’m just going to try and ignore it because I can hear what’s happening.

GM: You can hear like, [wet slurping chomp sounds]. And you feel just this overwhelming sense of pleasure and hunger being satiated.

Myx: Well, good.

Darconius: He shares the pleasant experience of munching a kobold face with you.

Myx: Ugh.

Tobe: {laughs}

GM: Sometimes being as close with your familiar has its drawbacks.

Myx: As long as I don’t develop a taste for kobold, I’m fine.

Mhurren: Mhurren’s going to sit by Doomsinger. Do I notice Scraw?

Scraw: I mean, he’s not really hiding it in anyway. He’s very openly glowering.

Mhurren: Keep an eye on Scraw.

Doomsinger: Doomsinger is trying to focus on playing his lute. You do notice he keeps looking around. Obviously, he’s on watch, but he looks a little bit paranoid. That’s …

Mhurren: “Everything all right, Doomsinger?”

Doomsinger: “Oh, yes. {stammers} Quite fine.”

Mhurren: “You look a little, uh, worried.”

Doomsinger: “Me? {forced laugh} No. It’s-it’s been a, been a tough few days. Um, that’s all. Nothing to worry about, priest.”

Mhurren: “How’s the, um, how’s the face?”

Doomsinger: “Um, sore, but I’ll- I’ll be quite. I, uh, drunken stupor was a bit silly of me, I think, falling over so badly, but I’m-I’m fine. Don’t you worry about me, priest. I’m made of tougher stuff than you think.”

Mhurren: “That-that’s good to know.” As I say this I just sort of lean in closer, “{whispers} I’m sorry about that.”

Doomsinger: “Sorry about what?”

Mhurren: “About the face.”

Doomsinger: “What about the face?”


Mhurren: “It was… that was my fault.”


Doomsinger: “Now, how could it possibly have been your fault. I’m … Spell it out for me. I’m confused.”

Mhurren: “Well, I-I went into a room and I found what looked like a cultist …”

Doomsinger: “Yes.”

Mhurren: “… on the ground, in a drunken stupor.”


Doomsinger: “Mm-hmm {affirmative}.”

Mhurren: “I was scared if he were to wake. So, I just clumped him one. I didn’t know it was going to be you.”


Doomsinger: “Rrright.”

Mhurren: “So, yes, I-I do apologize for that.”

Doomsinger: “Hmm.”

Mhurren: “Please forgive me.”


Mhurren: “I-I promise I won’t do it again.”

Doomsinger: “Give it… give it time. I’d like to see you try.”

Mhurren: “Just don’t dress up like a cultist anymore.”

Doomsinger: “{harrumphs} I did what I had to to survive. You remember that.”

Mhurren: “I …”

Doomsinger: And that’s the last thing he says to you before he turns away and continues his watch. And you notice, the paranoia seems to have left his face and he actually looks like he’s struck with a firm resolve, like he’s made a decision and he’s settled in it now.

Mhurren: Mhurren feels a little bit better now. {laughs}

GM: You guys manage to spend a half hour or so getting a good earned rest. You are surrounded by dead kobolds, but you’re not disturbed. Nothing harasses you. You are not assaulted in any way. It seems The Doomsinger did an amicable job keeping watch. Scraw is still deadeying The Doomsinger from across the room, though Mhurren and The Doomsinger seem to be keeping each other in quiet company. They’re not talking and The Doomsinger appears to be keeping watch.

Erbak: “I say we press on.”

Tobe: “Well, there’s that other bend in the road that we haven’t really investigated.”

GM: You guys remember that the area just outside of this room, you had a set of stairs leading down that you came up and there is another fork in the road which appears to lead to a set of stairs that head further upwards.

Erbak: “Welp, onwards and upwards.”

Myx: “Yeah, I’m all for going up. Carefully, of course and as stealthily as we can make ourselves.”

Erbak: Erbak will be at the back and, “I vote we put Scraw at the front, given that he’s the toughest one of us.”

Myx: “I’m gonna vote against putting Scraw in the front.”

Scraw: Scraw looks at you and he’s like, “Why?”

Myx: “Um …”

Scraw: “Do you doubt my prowess?”

Myx: “No, no, no. Not at all. I think you should be second from the front.”

Scraw: “You’re right! I do not wish to be followed by The Doomsinger. He should be in front. I won’t have that backstabber behind me.”

Doomsinger: The Doomsinger turns and says, “Very well. Yes. That sounds amicable. I will take the lead. I know many things about this cave and I can pass for one of them. They will trust me if they see me.”

Myx: “Uh-huh {skeptical}.”

Tobe: “I thought you said you didn’t get very far into the cave.”

Myx: “Yeah.”

Doomsinger: “I didn’t. I misspoke. I just mean they’re cultists and I have gained their trust. So, I should lead the way.”

Erbak: I’m going to do an insight check on Doomsinger.

GM: You may. He seems like he’s telling the truth. He just misspoke.

Myx: “In that case …”

Mhurren: “I could take the lead-“

Doomsinger: “No, no. Allow me. Scraw, you follow on as you please.”

Myx: I will be behind Scraw in case I need to intervene or distract him.

GM: So, The Doomsinger steps forwards out of the cave and Scraw hurriedly follows behind him. Myx, you follow up behind Scraw.

Tobe: Tobe’s with Myx.

GM: You guys huddle up behind The Doomsinger. Erbak takes up the rear guard.

Doomsinger: The Doomsinger quietly takes the lead. He turns and says, “Come on then. Follow me.”

GM: And as he sneaks out, you all hoist yourselves up out of your beds and start crawling forwards and Tobe and Scraw just go down. They both just step on something oily and slippery and [body hitting ground noise], straight out from underneath them, collapse on the ground and just smash full body slam into corpses.


GM: Tobe and Scraw are definitely covered in gore. While you’re lying there on the ground, Tobe, “Oh, my god. This didn’t just happen,” Oz starts preening your hair, pulling bits of eyeball out of it. The rest don’t slip and fall, but you definitely crack a few ribs as you’re walking. You are being alarmed by this, but you definitely are stepping on corpses and there’s just a whole myriad of noises coming from you.

Mhurren and The Doomsinger are just looking at you all in disbelief.

Mhurren: They’re all covered in kobold.

GM: Tobe and Scraw are covered in mushed up kobolds. The rest of them are not.

Erbak: Though, I technically am, but …

GM: Well, yeah, but that’s out of choice. It’s …

Myx: Because of you, doctor.

GM: You’ve done your best to eat cleanly earlier, but it wasn’t the forefront thought of your mind and it’s not gone amazingly.

Myx: Sticking out from his teeth, just little …

Tobe: God.

GM: Myx, you’re looking around trying to look away from the horror of your best friend covered in kobold gore and you catch sight of Erbak, who you realize has not fallen over, but is somehow still covered in kobold gore.

Myx: Am I surprised, though?

Scraw: Tobe, Scraw wanders over and offers you a hand and says, “Um, it happens to the best of us, I think.”

Tobe: I don’t say anything. I just take his hand and let him help me up because …

GM: Yeah. Scraw reaches down with his hand to help you up. You take it and as he pulls you up, Oz just objects loudly. [Oz caws] As he was mid Tobe hair feast. {laughs}

Tobe: “Ew. I really don’t want to think about what just happened.”

Scraw: “Perhaps we should move on?”

Doomsinger: And the Doomsinger just turns around and goes, “Yes. Perhaps we should.”

Tobe: Uh …

Doomsinger: “The bright side is things can only improve from here.”

Tobe: “I hope so.”

Erbak: it is just an occupational hazard for me.

Tobe: {groans}

GM: You guys all do your best to continue making a silent progress up the stairs from the landing platform. As you get towards the end of the stairs, The Doomsinger stops briefly, looks around as you come across what appears to be a stone bridge. The stone bridge appears to cross the tunnel which you walked through earlier where there was a stone archway. This actually traverses the cavern that was filled with the bats.

Doomsinger: The Doomsinger turns to all of you, puts his finger against his mouth in a symbol of silence and beckons you all to cross. And he stands there by the other side of the bridge and beckons you all to cross the bridge in front of him.

Myx: Wait, in front of him? Can I whisper to him? I’m going to carefully walk up to him, “{whispers} Why aren’t you going?”

Doomsinger: “{low} Well, here’s the thing. All of you are incompetently loud and I just think it would be easier if you went across one at a time quietly, because that was a disaster.”

Myx: “{whispers} You know Scraw’s not going to like this.”

Doomsinger: “{low} Scraw’s not going to care. If you go first, he’ll miss out on all the fun.”

Myx: “{scoffs} {disapproving groan}” Insight check The Doomsinger.

GM: He seems like he’s being pretty honest. He’s being very straight with you. He just wants to try and keep you quiet as you go across.

Myx: Okay, in that case Myx just sort of shrugs and crosses.

GM: You step out onto the bridge and nothing happens.

Myx: Thank god.

GM: You carefully creep across the bridge to the best of your ability. Still not being particularly stealthy, but you’re trying and as you look back at The Doomsinger he’s just rolling his eyes, “Oh, good lord.” But you make it to the other side and there appears to be a set of stairs that lead downwards into what, from where you are, looks like a well lit room but you can’t see into it then.

Erbak: I’m going to put my woolen cloak over my head and carefully crawl across, just in case those bats-

GM: The bats, yeah. You cover yourself in your cloak and you move deftly across the bridge, keeping low to avoid whatever those weird skin bats were.

Scraw: Scraw hangs back with The Doomsinger as the rest of you cross the bridge and after you’ve crossed Scraw looks at The Doomsinger and you hear him loudly across the bridge go, “After you.”

Doomsinger: And The Doomsinger just rolls his eyes again and crosses the bridge, strutting.

Scraw: Scraw follows.

GM: You’re all crowded now at the top of this stairwell is a winding, slowly descending staircase into a room filled with light.

Myx: I would like to, with Darconius’s permission, borrow his body and investigate.

Tobe: Tobe will then keep an eye on you.

Mhurren: “That’s fine with me.”

Erbak: “I am very happy with anything that doesn’t have me going first.”

Myx: “In that case, Darconius! Are you ready?”

Darconius: “Yeah, sure. I’m fine with whatever.”

Myx: All right. So, what we’re gonna do is while I spiritually wiggle into Darconius’s body, Tobe, my bestie, is watching over my body.

GM: Okay, so you’re just gonna sit down at the top of these stairs …

Myx: And dive in.

GM: And go into a meditative state.

Myx: I am going to fly up really close to the ceiling top and what I want to do is grapple.

GM: To the ceiling, and you want to spider walk along the ceiling.

Myx: Yep.

GM: You project yourself into Darconius’s body and you fly up to the stone ceiling and you dig your little claws in and you slowly … It is very slow going like this, because you’re upside down and even though he’s a little lizard, he could navigate this fine. For you it’s a little challenging, but you slowly walk towards the light, upside down, on the ceiling.

Myx: I want to go as far down as I can, as close to where the light is as I can, until I get to the room.

GM: So you walk down the archway over the stairs, upside down, on the ceiling. You walk into the room, which is filled with light, and you can see, plain as day, standing in the middle of the room, with his greatsword out in front of him, a very familiar half-dragon.


Myx: No.

GM: And, he calls out, “You can stop hiding. I’ve been waiting.”

Myx: {stammers} Run away.

GM: You, in your little Draconius body run away, but all of you hear this, because he wasn’t being quiet.

Myx: I’m just gonna run into Tobe and hide behind Tobe’s head. Before I get to my body, my first instinct is to go hide behind Tobe {laughs}.

Darconius: Darconius, Tobe, you see as you’re hearing this, soars into you and runs around behind your head, hides underneath your horns and Oz and Myx then comes to. {laughs}

Tobe: Well, I imagine that Oz is not too happy about it.

Darconius: {laughs} Probably not. As Myx comes to, Darconius dismounts Tobe and wanders over to you Myx. He goes, “What’s the big deal? He doesn’t seem so scary.”

Myx: “Um, maybe not to you. We almost died. Well, we could have, but we didn’t okay. Fine.”

GM: The voice seems familiar to all of you. This seems like it’s the voice of that half-dragon who was assaulting the keep that he took the family hostage and he demanded combat.

Erbak: “That’s Langdedrosa, isn’t it?”

Myx: “What are we going to do? It’s him. {stammers} He’s here, the dragon, blue man.”

Langdedrosa: “Come on now. You’ve been keeping me waiting long enough.”

Tobe: “I think we don’t have much of a choice. Also, we should probably just get rid of him. It’ll be one less person we have to deal with later, possibly. Is there anyone else in there with him or is it just him?”

GM: He had two, large, orcish looking guards who were standing to either side of him.

Myx: But did I notice that in my state of panic?

GM: Absolutely. The very first thing you saw was Langdedrosa.

Mhurren: “Myx, do you think wants to fight you again?”

Myx: “Don’t know.”

Langdedrosa: “I AM NOT A PATIENT MAN!”

Erbak: “Technically, he’s not a man.”

Myx: “Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, um, I’m gonna go to him.”

Mhurren: “Yeah, we need to kill him.”

Scraw: “Who is this person that you are speaking of? Why is he talking to us this way? If he knows we were here, why didn’t he not come to us? What is going on?”

Tobe: “Uh, this half-dragon guy who Myx briefly fought to rescue a family back at Greenest during the initial attack.”

Scraw: “Yes, I remember hearing about this. He sounds impressive.”

Tobe: “Well, I’ve got a strange feeling that even if we try to leave, he’s probably going to pursue us, because he knows we’re here and he’s shouting at us.”

Myx: “Guys. I’m gonna go, because he knows we’re here and he’s not gonna be patient. We need to …”

Erbak: Just under my breath quickly mutter, “We could just lure him to the bridge. It’s narrow. He could fall. The bats might obscure us all. “

Mhurren: “But what if he knows where the progeny is?”

Myx: “We might need him.”

Tobe: “Also, I’m willing to bet he knows the layout of this place a lot better than we do.”

Erbak: “That’s my vote, but very well. Scraw, you may want to go in there first. I don’t think I could hold up to something like that.”

Myx: “Me, I want to go first, but what I’d advise to us as a group is having a safe word {laughs} so that if I need help and you guys to get in there right away, then you know.”

Scraw: “You wish to go alone?”

Tobe: “I’m not letting you go alone this time.”

Myx: “Okay, fine. Ugh. Let’s go.”

Mhurren: “Right behind you.”

GM: So, you all make your way down into the room below.

Erbak: I’m going to shuffle in behind Scraw.

Langdedrosa: You find yourselves in an ornately decorated room, but the detail of most of that is lost on you as standing right in the center is Langdedrosa. Myx, as you walk into the room Langdedrosa’s eyes widen and he recognizes you immediately and he starts laughing. He’s, “{riotous laughter} Oh, my little rat squealed well. {laughs} Oh, I didn’t believe for a second that you would be here, but here you are. Oh, this is going to be fun.”

Myx: “What are you doing here?”

Langdedrosa: He is already wielding his greatsword and you need to roll initiative. As soon as Myx stepped into the room, Langdedrosa just, “This is going to be fun!” And started charging.

GM: You notice, Myx, that the two guards standing either side of him do not draw weapons. They just stand exactly where they are. Mhurren.

Mhurren: I’m going down right next to Myx and I’m gonna ready an attack.

GM: What are you readying?

Mhurren: With my mace. Trigger is if any of them start attacking.

GM: So, if they get in range to attack.

Scraw: Scraw grabs The Doomsinger and he throws him down the stairs.


Myx: Oh, god.

Mhurren: {gasps}

Scraw: Towards you guys. As he does so, he follows him down the stairs and you hear Scraw say, “What did he say about a rat?”

GM: Tobe.

Tobe: I’m going to move a little closer, against my better judgement, and I’m going to use witchbolt on Langdedrosa.

GM: Right in the center of that wall, directly in front of you, there is a large, giant statue of a dragon. You move into the room, and sidle up against the statue. You walk into the room holding out the gem in your hand {laughs}. Oz perched atop your horns like a feathery crown. And a radiant energy fills up within you. It actually surrounds Oz. And as you hold out your gem, you focus and the energy cascades out from Oz and blasts Langdedrosa full in the face.

Langdedrosa: As he roars in pain, “A familiar trick! Not one that will work twice.” And continues his charge forward.

GM: And as he does so, Tobe, as you attack Langdedrosa, both berserkers draw their blades. Do you want to move any further or are you going to stay where you are? This berserker runs forward. “{primal yells}” And wielding his greataxe, charges forward, buries his greataxe in your side.

Tobe: Tobe’s already not doing great.

Langdedrosa: Langdedrosa, going to charge at you, Myx, because you are what he wants to fight and he …

Myx: “Come at me, bro. No, don’t come at me.”

Langdedrosa: … charges over, wielding his greatsword over his head, he runs, both hands on the hilt of his blade and swings his sword overhead at you. {disappointed sigh} Natural 20.

Mhurren: Oh geez.

Myx: Mm-hmm {resolved}.

Tobe: Oh, shit. {laughs}

GM: As he swings down with the sword and slashes you heavily across the chest, pain is agony and then he swings around for his second attack. That’s a three {relieved laughs} , so, pain from the first swing is so agonizing that you double over and his blade just swings wide, but you are looking extremely rough.

Myx: Myx is bleeding profusely.

GM: Erbak.

Myx: Profusely.

Erbak: I’m going to move. I can see old blue boy can I?

GM: You can, indeed. Yeah. So, you move down the stairs and you have a clear line of sight into the room and you can see Langdedrosa is wildly swinging his blade at Myx.

Erbak: I should do something about that. So, I’m going to witchbolt him at level 2.

GM: You try to summon up the energies to witch bolt him and as your spell leaps forward, you find that Tobe’s witchbolt actually interrupts. Your spell dissipates as it collides with the witchbolt surrounding Langdedrosa.

Erbak: I’m infuriated, but what can you do?

GM: So, as Erbak’s spell collides with yours, they both dissipate.

Langdedrosa: And Langdedrosa kind of cackles. “{cackles} I expected more of a challenge.” As he continues swinging at Myx.

GM: This berserker is not even going to bother. He’s actually just going to stand back.

Doomsinger: The Doomsinger pulls himself up from the floor, dusts himself off, looks up at Scraw, looks around at the rest of you. He looks at you, Myx, and as you’re in pain and says, “I am truly sorry.” And he walks into the room. As he walks past you, Myx, he briefly touches your shoulder and you heal for 18 hit points.

Myx: Oh, my god. Is he gonna throw me to the enemy? Is he gonna, what is he going to do?

GM: He walked past you.

Myx: Oh my god.

GM: And he casually touches your shoulder and casts a level 2 cure wounds on you as he passes, but then makes no move to attack the enemies and the enemies do not pay any attention to him as he walks past.


GM: And now it is your turn.

Myx: I disengage and move to the pillar towards the other end of the room.

GM: Okay, so you run into the room. As The Doomsinger moves through the room, you take the opportunity where Doomsinger’s in the way between you and Langdedrosa and you rush into the room, to try and put some distance between yourself and him and his painful, painful attacks.

Langdedrosa: And as you start running across the room, he turns angrily. “I have waited too long for this! You will not rob me.”

Myx: {raspberry}

GM: Mhurren.

Mhurren: I’m going to move a bit closer and get in range of blue boy and I’m gonna mace him, try to anyway.

GM: Blessings be upon you and your house. You go ahead. You smash him with your mace.

Mhurren: Try another unarmed strike.

GM: As Myx charges across the room, you see Langdedrosa turn towards her and scream, “You will not rob this from …” You rush over, and as he turns back to pay attention to you, slam your mace into his face. He reels back as your elbow swings into his gut and he doubles over, and then you unload your compressed elbow, sucker punching him in the jaw and he takes a few steps back as he’s staggering.

Langdedrosa: He says, “{pained exhalation} Perhaps I have chosen poorly. You are a worthy foe.” And he gets ready to square up.

Mhurren: Right after I do that, I shout out at The Doomsinger. “Where are you going?”

Doomsinger: You see him look back at you sadly, just shrugs with open hands facing upwards. “What did you expect?”

Scraw: Scraw sees you smashing Langdedrosa and {laughs} hears him say a worthy foe and he goes, “You have seen nothing yet!”

Tobe: {laughs} Oh, god.


Scraw: And he rushes forwards, glaive ready, charges down the stairs. Charging forwards, he actually, instead of swinging it over his head as he normally would, he actually drives it forward, almost like a spear, two handed, and stabs Langdedrosa in the side of his gut as he is reeling still from your attacks, Mhurren, is unable to defend against the blow.

GM: Tobe.

Tobe: I am going to disengage and run 30 feet in the opposite direction of the statue.

GM: So you rush away from the berserker who just laid into you with a greataxe and away from the statue as well.

Tobe: I’m going to use my bonus action to cast hex on Langdedrosa.

GM: So, you rush away from the statue, dodging and weaving away from the berserker. You turn and focus all of your malice and malintent on Langdedrosa. Oz, you feel his feathers ruffling above you as his eyes glow and you see a flash of energy above you, which then manifests itself around Langdedrosa and you have hexed him.

{long drawn out} Berserker wants to keep fighting you.

Tobe: No, {laughs} fuck off.

GM: So, he’s just going to run over and he’s going to reckless attack you. So, he rushes over, swings his greataxe at you and you see in his eyes just a blank fury. He seems to not be paying attention, wildly swinging his axe, leaving himself completely open to attack, but he manages to fail utterly to land a blow upon you.

Tobe: Oh, thank fuck for that {laughs}.

Langdedrosa: Langdedrosa stands, pulls himself up straight, takes a deep, mighty breath.

Tobe: Oh, god.

Langdedrosa: [roars] Lightning crackles forwards, directly at you, Mhurren, due to your multiple blows.


Mhurren: Uh.

Myx: Eesh.

Mhurren: Okay. I’m unconscious, guys. {laughs}

Myx: Oh no.

Tobe: Uhh. {laughs}

Langdedrosa: And he turns to face Scraw. “You’re next, tiny one.”

GM: Erbak. You’ve just seen Langdedrosa lightning blast the fuck out of Mhurren, but you do see he seems to be breathing quite heavily.

Erbak: Welp. I have to make this one count. I’m gonna crack out a level 2 ray of sickness at him. Yeah, I fucking rolled a natural 1.

GM: You level your claws, seeing him lightning blast Mhurren and I guess the horror of this attack, the sheer force of it, seeing it from the battlements when he was fighting Myx was interesting. This is less than 20 feet from you and it’s terrifying. You watch it rip through Mhurren who does not fall unconscious because he has Orcish endurance. You see Mhurren drop to the ground and his breathing is incredibly shallow. You see him fall unconscious and you’ve seen him do this before. He blinks and his body shakes violently from the lightning, but he appears, though prone, to be alive. However, the distraction, and the sheer terror inducing force of this lightning causes you to completely malfunction and you are not able to manifest the spell.

Erbak: Well, this is a great start for me.

GM: Myx. A berserker is charging towards you. The one that previous hung back is now interested in fighting because you’re clearly not going to bother with Langdedrosa and he is not going to let you get away. The large orc charges towards you, wielding his greataxe over his head. And he screams in draconic, “For Tiamat, you will suffer!”

Oof, fuck. It’s not your day.


Erbak: No one’s day. Literally we’re all fucked.

GM: It’s the second natural 20 that’s hit Myx.

Myx: Hellish rebuke! Hellish rebuke!

GM: He swings his greataxe down at you, and you well up with an internal flame, which you then cast forth against him. And he does not seem that phased by it. This is a very large half-orc, and though the flames definitely damaged him, he’s still going strong.

Doomsinger: The Doomsinger pulls out his lute and he begins singing a song about The Scales of Justice and how they died in a cave.


Myx: No.

Doomsinger: Along the lines of, “The Scales of Justice were dumb and brave. The went, they lived, they died in a cave.” And despite the morose nature of this tune, all of you are kind of rolling your eyes like, “What the fuck is wrong with this guy? Why isn’t he helping us? What’s he doing?” Mhurren, you feel yourself a little bit invigorated as he casts a level 2 healing word. And then, as he finishes his tune, he rushes alongside the berserker and screams at you Myx, “Have at you, wench!” [cracking sound] And he slaps you across the face. “HAH!”

Myx: “Excuse me?”


Doomsinger: And you see this look in his eyes that’s pained and regretful and casts cure wounds as he does so.

DM: {laughs} And now it’s your turn.

Myx: I look intently at The Doomsinger and yell, “You wait your turn!” I want to cast shatter.

GM: You focus on a singular point in front of the statue. From where you’re standing, you do the rapid math. There’s a close up of Myx’s face as she looks up and to the right, and her eyes, defocus. Numbers and algorithms float around her head as she works out the exact trajectory of the room and she’s like, “Okay, this bounces off there, with where Mhurren and Scraw are standing.” She’s like, “Mm, but they’re, hngh, okay,” and everything suddenly comes into a clear focus as you see the point directly in front of the statue below the owl. It’s almost like the owl has been sent by fate itself to show you the way, to show you the placement of your spell.

You manifest a single, small point of light, and you reach out your hand, ignoring the berserker in front of you, and you narrow your fingers together. You pinch them as tight as you can. The little glowing ball of light shrinks and shrinks until all at once it explodes and Langdedrosa buckles to his knees. You hear nothing, but Langdedrosa is clutching his head and screaming.

And you see the statue shake. And the owl, [poof], just pops.

Myx: Oh no!

GM: Into a flurry of feathers, and then vanishes, that then dissipate to the ground and when they land, they disappear. The statue shakes violently but does not appear harmed. Langdedrosa is just clutching his head on the floor and screaming violently as he smashes his head into the ground.

Myx: Ew.

GM: Over and over, until he bludgeons himself into unconsciousness.

Tobe: Yes!

GM: I say unconsciousness. He dead, just for clarity.

Tobe: I’m gonna say I would be more distracted by the half-dragon smashing his head into the floor, but did I notice my owl just go poof?

GM: I doubt it. There is a berserker in front of you smashing your face in with an axe.

Tobe: Well, no. He missed last time.

GM: I feel like you probably aren’t seeing past the six foot tall orc with a greataxe swinging at your head, to be honest.

Myx: Myx swears that she will make up the owl to Tobe.

Darconius: You just hear in your head, as this owl explodes and the guy starts beating himself to death. “Whoa, cool! That was really great.”

Myx: “Thank you. We got him, Darconius. We got him.”

Darconius: “Can I stab this guy?”

Myx: “If you promise to be careful. I mean, don’t let him hit you. Darconius! Gouge his eyes out!”

Tobe: {laughs} That got dark really quickly.

Erbak: Someone’s angry.

Myx: “You’ll get eyeballs soon, Darconius. Soon.”


Darconius: “I had some earlier. They were good.”

Tobe: Ugh.

Myx: Myx has this mini-bloodlust now that she’s victorious.

GM: Mhurren, you see Langdedrosa fall and go crazy. You see your warlock friends are being harassed by big, beefy orcs.

Mhurren: After I see Langdedrosa drop, I’m gonna run up behind this guy that’s attacking Tobe, and I’m going to try to hit it, attacking with a mace.

GM: Oooh, not adding anything.

Mhurren: Op, nevermind that bonus.

GM: {laughs} Oh. Roll with advantage. He’s been attacking recklessly this whole time. {laughs}

Mhurren: Wow.

GM: It was meant to be.

Mhurren: Jesus.

GM: You truly fluff this one. As you rush over and try to bring …

Mhurren: Tickle him.

GM: … the mace down upon the back of his head, his own violently wild furies result in his greataxe actually swinging down backwards towards you. And, you take a step backwards to dodge the axe hitting you in the face, but as you do so, you inadvertently bring your arm back with the mace and smack yourself in the fod. Two natural 1s, dude. I can’t let you get away scott free. {laughs} This is …

Erbak: Oh, shit. This might actually manage to knock himself out.


GM: No, he got healed by The Doomsinger. He’s all right.

Tobe: That would be really unfortunate.

GM: It would have been hilarious. You strike yourself quite firmly in the forehead. A little bit reminiscent of how you attacked The Doomsinger, and you now know how it feels. You’re dizzy, but you still have an unarmed strike. You saw Doomsinger earlier wander across the room and slap Myx in the face and you’re just so perturbed and confused by his actions. You’re just so woozy that when you try to lash out following the mace blow, you’re disoriented from the mace hitting you in the face and you’re just utterly confused, unable to focus.

Mhurren: Yeah.

GM: And your swing goes completely wild.

Scraw: Scraw runs over, across the room, over the body of Langdedrosa and towers over The Doomsinger.

Tobe: Oh no. {laughs}

Scraw: He pulls back his glaive, turns to The Doomsinger and says, “Do not think you have escaped justice this day,” as he swings his glaive over The Doomsinger’s head into the side of the berserker, and he is raging.

GM: The orc roars out. Tobe.

Tobe: First I’m going to use my bonus action to move my hex onto the guy attacking me.

GM: What does he have disadvantage on?

Tobe: I’m gonna make it strength check.

GM: As you focus on rechanneling that energy, you hear Oz above you. [Oz caws]. And you feel the radiant energy flowing from above you and settling on the orc in front of you. You’ve noticed as you’re casting this, no one else seems to react to this, but he now glows with a violent purple energy to your eyes.

Tobe: And then I’m going to use primal savagery.

GM: You flex your fingers and your nails elongate into large, lengthy claws. Your claws, dripping with a venom, slash across his eyes and he reels back, slapping at his face, trying to block your blows.

Tobe: I’m betting it stings like a motherfucker.

GM: Yeah. It probably burns. Probably does not feel great, but he reacts with a violent fury in response to this.

Tobe: Yeah, I’m gonna die.

GM: He is going to relentlessly attack you. As he blindly swings as wide as he can to try and ensure he hits you, the blade scrapes across the wall behind you and slams into the side of your cheek, leaving a small gash. As he still cannot clearly see in front of him.

Erbak, there is no longer anyone in front of your field of vision, however, you did see all your comrades run off into the room and you do continue to hear the sounds of battle.

Erbak: Okay. I’m traipsing down the stairs and get to this corner-

GM: Go down the winding staircase, you step into the room and you can see that there is a berserker, a large orc, being flanked by Tobe and Mhurren, and you see that strangely, The Doomsinger appears to be siding with one of the orcs between Scraw and Myx.

Erbak: As weird as that is for now, it’s between Scraw and I know Scraw doesn’t like him so Scraw will take care of that one. This other guy, however, is next, up against the wall, and Mhurren is not looking particularly like he’s all there.

GM: Yeah, Mhurren’s looking loose.

Erbak: All righty then. I’m shooting a ray of sickness at this fellow, just between Mhurren and Tobe.

GM: As you assess the situation, and you look down at your hands, your recent attempts to cast spells have just not gone well. You’re looking at your hands and thinking, “These hands have done great work. Get it together.” You focus, as you wave your hands in the arcane incantation and speak the magic words.

Erbak: Arcs of green fly out, smacking the guy right in his belly.

GM: The ray of energy leaps forward, colliding with the orc’s stomach. He’s wildly swinging, clutching at his face and suddenly his hand drops to his belly, “{retches}, Wh-what have you done to me? {retches}” And he just starts retching violently in front of you, Tobe. {laughs}

Tobe: {laughs} I, uh, wish I didn’t have my back up against the wall right now.


GM: So, you are unable to avoid the spray. He is, for the moment, at least, not waving his axe in your face.

The berserker thus far, Myx hasn’t really shown him much challenge. He’s not that fussed by her and Scraw did just slash him in the face. So, he is actually going to turn to The Doomsinger and go, “Take care of this one.” And he shoves him aside. He does take an attack of opportunity with your dagger, Myx, as he wanders over, rushes towards Scraw.

As the orc runs away from you, you whip out your dagger and stab him in the back, but he doesn’t even seem to notice, in his fury, charging towards Scraw and pushing The Doomsinger aside. He runs over and brings his greataxe heavily down into Scraw’s shoulder. Scraw slams his blade away with his glaive, deflects it. Not harmlessly, but it does a bit less damage than it could have as he is raging.

Doomsinger: The Doomsinger, hmm. He is going to turn to you, Myx.

Myx: Mmm.

Doomsinger: And as the orc turns away, he says, “Yes, yes. Don’t worry. I will take care of this one!” And he turns back to you and winks.

Myx: {laughs}

Doomsinger: And with that wink, you feel just a little bit inspired. You feel emboldened with confidence and then he rushes at you, pretends to stumble and throws himself prone on the ground behind you. “Oh no! I appear to have fallen.”


Doomsinger: {Dramatically} “Curse my luck. Oh, fate is …”


Mhurren: So dramatic.

Doomsinger: {theatrically}”Fate is a cruel mistress. What have I done to deserve this?”

Myx: “Darconius. Uh, do you still want some eyeballs?”

Darconius: “Yeah, sure.”

Myx: “Sweet, okay. I want you to go after the brute that’s in between Mhurren and Tobe and go, go make a snack out of his eyeballs.” Aw.

Darconius: Darconius, in his enthusiasm, leaps down off your shoulder and soars across the room towards the orc that’s attacking Tobe, currently vomiting on Tobe’s feet. Darconius rushes towards the Orc. “Yeah! I’m gonna get you. I’m gonna …” And just as he’s soaring at the orc’s face, the orc doubles over and starts vomiting on Tobe and he flies forward and slams head first into the wall.


Tobe: Oh.

Darconius: And he takes a single point of damage.{laughs}

Myx: Oh, Darconius.

Darconius: And he reels slightly. He’s like, “What … I just. What happened? I don’t … I think I missed.”


Tobe: {laughs} I think I missed.


Myx: “Darconius, you can come back to me now.”

Darconius: “Um, yeah, I, I think that might be best.”

Myx: “Yeah. C-come here, buddy.”

Tobe: Meanwhile I’m just standing there. “I’m already covered in blood and guts. It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine.”


GM: Yeah, you’re covered in gore and now you have puke on your feet.

Tobe: I’m so glad I didn’t go with open toed shoes.

GM: Mhurren. There is a retching orc in front of you.

Mhurren: Mm-hmm {affirmative}. Between that, Doomsinger falling over, the pseudodragon smacking the wall. Mhurren’s just like, “Uh, uh. Right.” Just continue doing what he’s gonna do. Try and take this guy out in front of him.

GM: Sure.

Mhurren: I will attack with the mace. Successfully, I hope. Oh, my god.

Tobe: Oh my god.

GM: You do have advantage. You do have advantage.

Myx: This is not our night, guys.

Mhurren: That can’t happen again, twice in a row. Can it?


Mhurren: Let’s find out!


GM: {joyous exclamation!}

Mhurren: I didn’t hit my fucking face.


GM: Congratulations. The way this goes down is you, as you see him doubling over to vomit all over Tobe, you put your hands together around your mace and you bring your left elbow down on the back of his skull, as he is bent over. And he drops to his knees. The second elbow comes up and smashes into the side of his face. As he reels backwards, you bring your double handed mace strike square down into his nose and his face collapses under the blow.

Tobe: {grossed out groan}

Mhurren: Not a great way to go.

GM: Nope. His body drops lifelessly to the ground.

Mhurren: I’ll just move over to Myx, keeping an eye between the remaining berserker and The Doomsinger.

GM: You’re positioning yourself between the orc and Myx.

Scraw: Scraw swings violently at the orc in front of him and just lands a blow as he slams the glaive into the side of the orc’s head over and over again, just repeatedly screaming in his face.

GM: Tobe, there is a dead orc on your feet, lying in his own vomit.

Tobe: Oh. {laughs} I’m gonna move just to get away, five feet to my right, out of the vomit. And then I’m going to use my bonus action to move my hex onto the remaining berserker.

GM: The orc who is facing up against Scraw and they’re both just screaming at each other. This entire time it’s just like [back and forth roars]. They are not being quiet about this in any way, shape or form.

Tobe: Uhh, I just want this to be over. And I’m gonna cast sacred flame.

GM: Unfortunately, the hex energy dissipates as you try to focus it into a sacred flame. Both of them dissipate as you’re distracted just by the vomit on your feet {laughs} and the corpse, which you’ve seen quite a lot of recently and it’s just a bit too much.

Erbak: Looking at this guy screaming as Scraw was beating his face in with a glaive, how is he looking?

GM: Scraw’s looking a lot healthier than he is. The orc’s not looking great.

Erbak: Eh, enough fooling around. I’m gonna blitz him with a ray of sickness. And with an exasperated sigh, I just mutter the words and effectively kamehameha beam right into his ugly face.


GM: Yes, and that’s literally all it takes. You focus your hands together and you lash out in front of you as you say the words and his face, as the beam hits, you watch it age and sicken and blister as the roaring of anger and rage begins to become cries of pain as he reels backwards and falls to the ground thrashing and vomiting and it’s just gruesome. Until he eventually stops moving with a gurgle.

Erbak: Well, that’s that done.

Doomsinger: And The Doomsinger stops and stands up as quickly as he can and he puts up his hands, “Now, before anybody does anything hasty-…”

Myx: Myx slaps him.


Ray: And that’s all we had time for this week. If you’re a listener who jumped ahead to episode 1A and you’re not entirely sure who Langdedrosa is or, well, was, I suppose would be more apt, head back to Episode 7: The Champion’s Roar. It’s one of our better early audio episodes and it’ll give you a little context.
Don’t forget to head over to twitch.tv/roll4change. Watch our live streamed games on demand. And if you can spare it, donate to a great cause. And, of course, join us again next week for Episode 17: The Traitor’s Resolve.
The song that you heard at the beginning of this episode was Extravaganza by TRG Banks and the song you are now hearing is While You Were Here by Ending Satellites. Until next time, travel safe. And remember, The Scales of Justice are here for you, always.

The Doomsinger Written by: