This transcript is colour coded for ease of use. Please download the PDF.
Tobe as played by Liz
Scraw/Oz as played by Ray
Mhurren as played by Vinny
Narrator/GM/Everything else as played by Nina
[Audio Description]
{Tone Guide/Sarcasm etc
[gentle music]
Ray:Host: Hello, and welcome to Tails From the Dark Dragon’s Inn: Sidequests, A Tale of Three Princesses: Part 2. Just a quick couple of notes here, the first half of this episode sounds a little bit different to the rest of it and it’s not quite as good quality. Unfortunately, due to a problem that one of our users had, we had to rely on our backup for the first half of the episode. However, the second half is a-ok and, to be honest, the first half doesn’t exactly sound terrible. It just doesn’t sound as good as the rest of it.
Other than that, I just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who supported Nina in her Kickstarter. It’s gone amazingly well and we’re absolutely thrilled. Those pins should be going out some time towards the end of July and/or early August as planned and this month is Pride Month. And we are celebrating along with the rest of you. Thanks for listening. I hope you enjoy this episode.
Scraw: “YOU PUT HER IN A TREE?!”
Teacup Bridge Trolls: The troll put his hands over his head, “N-not putting in tree.”
Scraw: “I WANT TO GO WHERE MYX IS! Why are you taking me to a tree?! If she’s not in the tree, WHERE IS SHE?!”
GM: He just continues to point up, quivering at the same time.
Scraw: “You just said she’s not in the tree. LOOK. I know it’s a tree. Where is the lady? The {vibrating} LAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDY.”
Teacup Bridge Trolls: It’s limbs are going flying as you’re shaking it because you’re just shaking it so violently and it, it can’t do anything. “She’s up there!” It’s not very happy right now.
Scraw: Okay, he stops shaking it. “Tell me why you brought me to this tree.”
Teacup Bridge Troll: “I-I-I-I bring you here because this, th-this is it.”
Scraw: “This is not a lady.”
Teacup Bridge Troll: “Y-y-you don’t, don’t know that, but …”
Scraw: “YOU TURNED HER INTO A TREE?!” He throws the troll to the ground and tackles the tree and wraps his arms around it and starts crying. “{sobbing} OH, MYX. I’M SO SORRY!”
Tobe: Considering that this whole conversation is still happening in Giant, very confused. I put the troll down and tentatively approach Scraw. “What’s happening?”
Scraw: “{sniveling} I think they turned her into a tree.”
Tobe: “Um …”
GM: Before anything else happens, when Scraw tackled the tree, a couple branches fell down and something kind of shaked about.
Scraw: Scraw is very distraught. He has not noticed anything.
Tobe: Patting Scraw on the shoulder, but I also look up into the tree to see if I can spot anything, squinting between the branches and looking for anything actually in the tree, because Tobe doubts that Myx got turned into a tree. {laughs}
Mhurren: I pick up the tree branches and wave them about. “Myx!”
Scraw: Scraw turns as Mhurren’s waving the branches. He’s like, “{sniveling} Do you think that’s her hair? Her beautiful, beautiful hair?!”
GM: Tobe, as you’re squinting in the tree, you see a very, very familiar color. What you notice is that it is Myx’s hair.
Scraw: “{inconsolable} SHE’S A TREE! {sobbing}”
GM: You just see it coming out from a bunch of different branches. For whatever reason, it’s quite thick in this area. You don’t know why, ’cause it’s quite unusual. Usually willow trees are very sparse. So the fact that there’s just a, a very thick amount of leaves here is very unusual.
Scraw: Scraw stops crying and turns to the trolls angrily, “YOU!”
GM: They hug each other and start crying. “N-n-n-NO! We …”
Scraw: “I said I wanted my friend back and you’ve turned her into a TREE!”
Tobe: “Scraw, Scraw, Scraw … Calm down.”
Mhurren: I step in between, waving the branches. “Um, I think there must be some explanation here.”
Scraw: “Yes! These fiends took Myx for gold.”
{laughs}
Tobe: “Um …”
Scraw: “And they put her in a tree and she turned into a tree.”
Tobe: Is Scraw still hugging the tree?
Scraw: No, no, no. He’s gotten up and he’s angrily pointing at the trolls.
Tobe: Oh.
GM: Who are quivering and hugging each other and crying a little bit.
Tobe: “Scraw, I-I don’t think Myx is the tree. I think Myx is in the tree.”
GM: “THEY SAID SHE WASN’T! I ASKED THEM AND THEY SAID SHE’S NOT IN THE TREE.”
Tobe: I sigh and I start to try to climb the tree.
GM: You climb that tree, very gracefully, might I add. Though this leafy bundle is maybe 20 feet or so from the ground, you follow the strands of hair. What you realize, by following these beautiful, long pieces of …
{laughs}
GM: … lilacy, silvery hair, is that they’re attached to a head.
Tobe: Oh, good! {laughs} I brush the leaves aside.
GM: You brush away some leaves and you find Myx. She isn’t awake and she’s very, very, very unconscious, but otherwise, there isn’t any sign of bruising or scratches or anything. And, she’s currently muffled by a silk bandana.
Tobe: The first thing I do is remove the, the bandana from her mouth. Is she tied up at all? Or is she just in the tree?
GM: No, she’s very tied up and she’s actually tied to the tree. As you move around some of the foliage, you see that she, she was strapped down in there. And you start to wonder, how in the hell did two little trolls, maybe no more than two, three feet tall, manage to do this?
Scraw: You hear from below, “I’M GONNA BREAK YOU!”
Tobe: I shout down, “SCRAW! Shut up and stop threatening the trolls.” {laughs}
Scraw: “WHY?!”
Tobe: “‘Cause I found Myx.”
Scraw: “THEY STILL PUT HER IN A GODDAMN TREE!”
Tobe: “I’m not sure that two tiny trolls could tie Myx up 20 feet from the ground.”
Scraw: “They didn’t say there was a friend, so they’re lying, which means they need PAIN.”
Tobe: “Mhurren, stop Scraw from being a bully.”
Mhurren: “Scraw, I think you need to calm down, okay?” And then I tickle him with the branch, just on the face.
{laughs}
Scraw: He does not look amused. He has been on the edge of fury this entire time.
Mhurren: “You get angry quite a lot, don’t you?” I tickle him with the other branch.
Scraw: I take the branch and then I throw it over his shoulder at the troll.
Mhurren: “Op.”
Scraw: “Who helped you?” he says in Giant.
GM: They look at each other and they look at Scraw and they run.
Scraw: Scraw pushes past Mhurren and dive-tackles the closest one. This time I grab the one that I didn’t grab before, that Tobe was holding, and I just immediately squeeze him. I don’t try to hurt him necessarily, but I squeeze him enough that he thinks I probably will. “I SAID, who helped you, because your little friend over here lied to me. He said she was not in the tree.”
Teacup Bridge Trolls: “{stammers} N-n-not know name. No, no, not know who, who he is.”
Scraw: “But you said that someone came to the bridge.”
Teacup Bridge Trolls: “Yes.”
Scraw: “And gave you gold.”
Teacup Bridge Trolls: “Yes.”
Scraw: “So that you would hide her.”
Teacup Bridge Trolls: “Yes. M-m-much gold to, to, to hide lady.”
Scraw: “So who put her in the tree?”
Teacup Bridge Troll: “{groans}”
Scraw: “Was it you?”
Teacup Bridge Troll: “{groans}”
Scraw: [squeeze, squeeze]
Teacup Bridge Troll: “No, n-not us. We …”
Scraw: “Who put her in the tree?”
Teacup Bridge Troll: “I-I-I-it was, it was, uh, the, the man who give us gold. He…”
Scraw: “WHY DID HE EVEN NEED YOU? IF HE PUT HER IN THE TREE, WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU GOOD FOR?” And he just lets him go. He’s like, “Whatever, get out of here.”
Tobe: {laughs} Oh my god. Whilst this whole fiasco is going on, I’ve taken out one of my daggers and started cutting the ropes holding Myx to the tree. Whilst also being very careful that she doesn’t fall out of the tree whilst I’m doing it.
Mhurren: Yeah, I walk over to the tree, uh, oblivious to what has escalated behind me.
Scraw: With the little troll guy, I’m gonna ask him, “What did his face look like? Was he like me?”
Teacup Bridge Trolls: “No, no-not like …”
Scraw: “Was he like the troll eater?” He points at Tobe in the tree.
Teacup Bridge Troll: “Um, yes.”
Scraw: “Okay.”
Tobe: What a fucking mess
Scraw: “That’s all I need to know.” I have typecast all tieflings. “Remember, the devil horn people, eat trolls. Do not deal with them again, no matter how much gold they give you. It is not worth your life.”
Teacup Bridge Trolls: “{frightened stammering}”
Tobe: God, if Tobe could speak Giant.
Scraw: “They are dangerous.”
Teacup Bridge Trolls: “N-not think it so bad when, when it started but not, not doing this again. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.”
Scraw: “That’s a very good idea. Now you toodle on away now. Toddle away.” He puts him gently on the ground.
Teacup Bridge Trolls: “Okay, but, but, but, one, one moment.”
Scraw: “No more gold.”
GM: The little troll pulls something out of his pocket. It’s a little bit different than a standard piece of gold. It’s almost like it’s a little bit bigger and a little bit flatter.
Scraw: Does it have a crest on it?
GM: Not the kind of crest you’d think. Think of a wax seal. It looks like that. It is a piece of gold, but in it is a picture of the two troll twins. And he says, “G-give this to, to silver-haired lady. If we ever, if she need help one day, this help her find us.”
Scraw: “Hmm {contemplative.” He takes it and he bites it. “It better not be cursed, because if it is, I will find you.”
Teacup Bridge Trolls: “Okay, scary man.”
Scraw: “Now, go.”
GM: And, the little troll grabs his twin and they don’t run away, but they hurriedly walk away from the party back to their bridge. You successfully banish the trolls, good job.
Scraw: I take the gold and I stick it in my pocket.
Mhurren: “Tobe. Do you need help?”
Tobe: “Eh, yeah. I’m not going to be able to … I don’t think I’m gonna be able to carry her down. So maybe if I just gently lower her down. I probably will have to drop her, actually.”
Mhurren: “Oh, shit.”
Tobe: “Do you think you can catch Myx?”
Mhurren: “You, you want me to catch her?”
Tobe: “Yes {laughs}, please.”
Mhurren: “Oh, god. Okay then.”
Scraw: I will point out that if she hits the ground at any speed at all, that’s an instant two death saves.
Mhurren: Oh, she’s unconscious. Yeah.
Scraw: Because she’s unconscious.
GM: So, if Tobe wants to try and push Myx out of the tree so that …
Tobe: No, he’s not gonna push her, he’s not gonna push her.
{laughs}
Tobe: Uh … {laughs}.
GM: Please tell me you, you have some modifiers. You are trying to really carefully, so, as gently as you can, get Myx out of this tree while she’s dead to the world. Mhurren, you see that Myx is falling from the tree. And you’re like, “Oh, shoot. Shoot.”
Mhurren: {laughs} “{panicked yell}”
GM: Like at the moving back and forth to try to catch a football, a football, American football. I’m gonna have to find a gif later for that. You’re trying really hard to calculate where you need to be for Myx to land in your arms. And, as you’re doing so, she just dumps to the floor.
Tobe: “Shit, shit, shit.”
Mhurren: Did I catch her?
{laughs}
GM: Nope, you did not catch her.
Tobe: Seeing that, um, seeing that I fucked up {laughs} and I just dropped my best friend 20 feet while she was unconscious, I don’t even try to climb down the tree properly. I just let myself hang from the branch I’m on and then drop myself to get down faster. Oh! Why couldn’t I roll that before?
GM: You land almost magically.
Tobe: Stick the landing.
GM: Like, the moment just before you feet hit the ground, you kind of float for a moment and very gently let down. You make a beautiful descent, Tobe.
Tobe: I would be so impressed with myself if I didn’t just drop my unconscious friend. And, I cast spare the dying to stabilize Myx.
GM: Congratulations, you found your friend.
Tobe: {laughs} And almost killed her. {laughs}
GM: Yes, but you found your friend.
Scraw: {laughs} She dropped out of the tree and landed on her face, just a branch stuck in her hair now. Scraw turns around to the giant thump and as he does so, he sees Tobe descending from the tree. “Oh, it’s Myx!” He goes over and, “Whoa, she doesn’t look so good.”
Tobe: “Uh, yeah, we may have had a slight accident.”
Scraw: “Do you think they have medic at the castle? They probably have a medic at the castle right?”
Tobe: “I would hope … I would hope so. Um”
Scraw: “They probably have clerics at the castle.”
Tobe: “I would hope so. Would you do the honors of carrying her for us?”
Scraw: “Mm, of course!”
Tobe: “Thank you.”
Scraw: “The trolls said a tiefling did this, just so that you know.”
Tobe: “Um, I’d say we should keep an eye out for a tiefling, but there seems to be a lot around this castle.”
Scraw: “Yes, uh, and it was a man, a tiefling man.” And then he narrows his eyes at Tobe. “Nah.”
Tobe: “What?” I narrow my eyes so narrowly at Scraw.
{laughs}
Tobe: That it’s just like, “If you even …”
Scraw: “Couldn’t be.”
GM:Myx: You, have no problem picking her up, but something weird happened as you were scooping her up into your arms. She rolls over and all of a sudden you just hear, “{harsh snoring sound}”
Scraw: “Yeah that tracks.” Scraw throws her over his shoulder, so doesn’t have to listen to the snoring.
{laughs}
GM: Yeah, she immediately stops snoring now that she’s on her stomach, she’s …
Scraw: Just wandering back to the castle.
GM: Okay so are you going to go the exact same way you came?
Scraw: I don’t think we know another way.
Mhurren: Are we able to trace our steps?
GM: ‘Cause the trolls led you across what was essentially a really thick wheat field, you can still see the bent leaves.
Scraw: And also, they just ran back to their bridge, so they’ve made a brand new trail again.
GM: In that case, you make your way back by following the refreshened tracks made by the two little trolls. You got past the bridge …
Mhurren: As we cross, I throw a couple of coins on either side of the bridge.
GM: You’re hoping to see a little speck of …
Mhurren: Cautiously.
GM: … a little, maybe a little troll arm here but, the coins just fall on the ground. No movement, no, no nothing. They just, it’s like they didn’t even notice if they are there.
Mhurren: And then I go [clapping]. “{Giant} Ug chak.”
{laughs}
GM: There is no response.
Tobe: “Just what … How badly did you menace those trolls?”
Scraw: “I mean, they were pretty scared. But we got Myx back and that’s what counts.”
Tobe: “{groans} Well, e-ends justifies the means, I suppose.”
Scraw: “When it comes to the life of our friend, I think that’s a reasonable stance to take, yes.”
Tobe: “Onwards and upwards.”
Mhurren: I carry on walking.
Tobe: Tobe is suspicious but he’s not going to lose any sleep over, over this. It’s not like they just murdered two not very trolls. {laughs}
Scraw: Yeah, they didn’t actually hurt anyone.
GM: So, you’re making your way along the river back towards the castle and …
Scraw: Walking fast and I’m homebound?
GM: Go away.
{laughs}
GM: You’ve been with your party long enough, I’d like to think, that you know that it sounds a certain way with the number of you people walking, you know how it sounds. All of a sudden, before you get, I’d say, within eyesight of the posts, which would lead you back into castle grounds …
Scraw: So, we’re walking on the path?
GM: You’re hearing something. You’re not sure, but it seems to only move when you move.
Scraw: Scraw assumes it’s just Myx on his shoulder and doesn’t pay any attention to it.
Mhurren: What kind of sound is it?
GM: A bell, a really, really, small, really, like a muffled bell.
Mhurren: Hmm, like a little keyring, keychain thing?
GM: Yeah, but again, only when you move do you hear it happen.
{laughs}
Mhurren: I stop dead in my tracks. I turn behind me and, and I go, “I think someone’s following us.”
{laughs}
GM: What order are you guys walking in by the way? I should have asked this.
Scraw: I think Scraw, like …
Mhurren: I assumed I was in the back.
Scraw: I was gonna say, I think if the other two notice something, they probably hung back a big more. So, uh, Scraw did not really notice it. He kept walking.
GM: Mhurren, as you turn around and start saying, “I-I think we’re being …” You come face to face with a masked individual. He is indeed wearing a cloak and his face is hidden by a scarf.
Mhurren: I raise my mace and I shout, “HALT!”
GM: He looks you dead in the eye and just ignores you, and he goes after Scraw.
Tobe: As he’s walking up to Scraw, because Scraw’s walked ahead a little bit, um, I step in the way.
Mhurren: And I walk right up behind him, kind of sandwich him.
GM: This man stops, sandwiched between Tobe and Mhurren.
{everyone laughs}
GM: Um …
Tobe: {laughs} Why?
{laughs}
GM: Y’all are gonna roll some initiative for me.
Mhurren: So, I’m going first, yes?
GM: Yes.
Mhurren: I, I’m going to try and grapple this masked assailant.
GM: Our masked individual is grappled, wriggling about and you hear that jingling noise again. At the moment just cursing in Infernal.
Mhurren: “Who are you?!” But then, I probably hear that, the muttering, which I don’t understand.
GM: He just kind of like sneers at you, continues muttering for the moment.
Mhurren: I am embracing this motherfucker.
GM: Scraw, wh-what’s up?
Scraw: So, Scraw, turning around, seeing all this, is going to go, “Wait a minute, Tobe, Mhurren. The trolls said a man in a hood paid them to take Myx.” {yelling} “They said the man in the hood brought Myx to them unconscious!” and he’s shouting and pointing at the man that Mhurren is grappling, and he’s going to put Myx on the ground and he’s going to run 10 foot ahead to Tobe and Mhurren, and charging, he’s just gonna punch the guy in the stomach. Real hard. So, I’m frenzy raging right now. So, I just rush over and I slam him in the stomach.
GM: He braced himself for your punch and …
Mhurren: So do I. {laughs} I’m right behind.
{laughs}
Mhurren: “Ooof.”
GM: He thinks he’s got this covered. I mean he got his core tucked in and he thinks he can take this, but it fucking hurts, punch him, and it just, all of his resistance that he thought he was building up, all that like abdominal work that he was …
Scraw: Then Scraw bites his face off.
GM: Well, no, but you did one on his stomach. He’s fetal positioned at the moment, just trying to relieve some of the pain from the swelling that’s about to happen in that area.
Scraw: Except Scraw is screaming at this guy, but the words are almost incoherent. He’s foaming at the mouth with fury.
Tobe: Erh. I-I’m not down with being all up in the face of that. Tobe is gonna move back and stand by where scraw has left Myx laying on the ground. I’m also going to prepare eldritch blast. I’m not gonna cast it yet. I’m holding my action in case the masked guy actually manages to get away. I’m not gonna attack him unless he manages to escape from Mhurren and Scraw.
GM: Mister, on the floor, wanting to cry, but not because he can’t let you guys see him cry. That would be awful. Is still being embraced by Mhurren and Scraw looming over him, probably ready to take another punch. He tries really hard, but he’s just in so much pain, he can’t actually get away from you, Mhurren. He’s clutching his stomach and one-handedly trying to break your embrace so he can maybe not seem like he’s in such a stuck position.
Mhurren, what would you like to do from here with your in pain, grappled man?
Mhurren: So this guy’s still got his hood up?
GM: Yes.
Mhurren: Has he?
GM: His hood is still up.
Mhurren: Okay.
GM: He has three quarters of his face is still covered.
Mhurren: I’m gonna pull his hood down.
GM: His mask is still on, but you do, indeed, see this is indeed a tiefling man. A very good looking one as well. {laughs}
Mhurren: From the back.
Scraw: Mhurren employing his go-to move, ‘I check them out’.
GM: You see some silky hair. Some jet black, really long, silky hair. It’s tied up by the …
Mhurren: But as I pull the hood back, was I charmed for like a half a second. Just …
Tobe: What? By his shiny hair?
Mhurren: … slow motion. “{awed sound}”
GM: A very handsome back of his head, not gonna lie.
Mhurren: Gust of wind blows on my face.
{laughs}
GM: He has horns. They’re very nice horns, and very, very nice hair. And he smells good. You notice he smells good. You don’t know why he smells good, but he smells really good.
Mhurren: I lean in. “You smell good, bro. Oh! Uh, I mean … What business do you have with Myx?” And I tighten my hold a little bit.
Scraw: The next turn in combat, Scraw’s gonna whip out his rope. In his fury, has a moment of clarity. He punches his guy again for good measure. “Mhurren, do you have your rope with you?”
Mhurren: “{strained} Yes.” I’m just wriggling.
Scraw: “I’ll get it.” And he goes in Mhurren’s bag ’cause I explicitly said last episode that I only have my glaive with me. {laughs} So, Mhurren goes in … Scraw goes into Mhurren’s bag, pulls out the rope and starts waving it around this guy so that instead of being grappled, he is now restrained. “I don’t know who this is, but I think he needs to be brought to justice, in the castle!”
Scraw: He’s not gonna beat the shit out of a guy tied up. {laughs} Mhurren holding him took all the fun out of it.
Mhurren: You do you, boo.
Scraw: “Would you like to do the honors?”
Mhurren: “Of killing him?”
Scraw: “No! I meant removing his mask so we, we know who it is.”
Mhurren: “Oh, right. Okay.” I take his mask off.
Scraw: “Whoever this person is, we know what he did and I have proof.”
Tobe: “Uh, sure. How ’bout we take …”
Mhurren: “All right. Let’s, let’s get back to the castle.”
{laughs}
Scraw: “Before we go, we should pat him down and make sure he hasn’t got anything on him.”
Mhurren: Oh! I take the daggers away.
Scraw: “Like evidence!”
Mhurren: “Wait, Scraw, that’s me.”
Scraw: “Oh.”
{laughs}
Scraw: “Hah! Sorry, I just, just … ”
GM: So overzealous.
Mhurren: “{stammers} It’s all right. Carry on.”
Scraw: [pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat, pat]
Mhurren: I step away.
GM: You don’t feel much, to be honest. You don’t …
Scraw: Pick him up by his ankles and shake him.
Mhurren: This guy’s gonna land on his head.
Scraw: ‘Cause if he’s got daggers equipped, being bounced around with those is gonna hurt.
GM: You drop him.
{laughs}
Scraw: That’s fine.
{laughs}
Scraw: I pick him up by his ankles and I try to shake him, but I just drop him on his face.
Mhurren: Is he still conscious? {laughs}
Tobe: Tobe is …
GM: He is not really happy
Scraw: Scraw’s just gonna grab hold of the ropes that are wrapped around the guy and start walking and just dragging him along the ground. He’s pulling him by the ropes wrapped around his legs so that the guy’s face is dragging on the ground.
{laughs}
Mhurren: Uh.
GM: A-a-all you hear while you do …
Scraw: He’s pretty. He won’t be by the time we get there.
Tobe: {sympathetic groan}
{laughs}
Mhurren: Beautiful.
Scraw: I stopped raging, so it’s not like being pulled along behind a horse anymore, but it would have been.
Tobe: {groans}
Mhurren: He’s just post-raging now.
Scraw: I’m on the comedown. I’m tired and I’m and I’m cranky.
Mhurren: {laughs} He’s crashing. {laughs}
Tobe: Wait.
Scraw: “Tobe. D-d-do you need a hand with Myx? Or are you going to be okay?”
Tobe: I-I crouch down and pick Myx up, draping her arms over my shoulders and picking her.
Mhurren: “Would you like me to help? Seems like you have your hands full, Scraw. {laughs}”
Tobe: “No, no, no. I …”
Scraw: “I’ll, I’ll keep an eye on this one.”
Mhurren: “Right, okay.”
GM: Okay, cool. So, you have your prince. You have your whoever-the-fuck-this-is. And you make your way back to the posts.
Scraw: “We’re gonna get in trouble, guys. Just throwing that out there. I’m pretty sure we’re in trouble. {laughs}”
Tobe: {laughs} Well …
GM: Nothing’s come towards you. N-nothing else strange has happened. You’ve got back to just outside.
[gentle music]
Narrator: Hey there friend, you look like you need a coffee. Why don’t you take a quick moment to settle down, throw the kettle on, get yourself a hot, steamy brew, and in the meantime, here’s something just a little bit different.
Doomsinger: The Scales of Justice aren’t getting paid for all the awesome stuff they’ve made. So if you can spare it, drop them a buck and you can’t we don’t give a-
Host: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That’s enough of that. {clears throat} Head over to our Patreon page and check out our reward tiers for GM insight, game time, and who knows what else. You can find us at https://patreon.com/darkdragonsinn. And now, on with the show.
[gentle music]
GM: Yeah, so, you are hauling the, the bound and not too great looking, at the moment assailant on the floor. And Myx is being carried by Tobe and you’re making your merry way back, uh, through the posts.
Scraw: “You know, I feel quite good about this. I think we’ve done a good job. Princess Maricara is going to be very proud of us. We brought her prince back, why wouldn’t she be?”
Tobe: “I mean, w-we probably coulda tried to bring Myx back in better condition.” He feels really guilty about dropping her {laughs}.
Scraw: “Well, the thing is, is we know that really, THIS man is to blame for everything. If she wasn’t in a tree, she couldn’t have fallen out of it. Stands to reason.”
Tobe: “Yes, that makes sense.”
Scraw: “And … Wait, no I’m not going to take any of the blame for this. It’s all him.”
Tobe: “Poor man that is being dragged on the {laughs} floor.”
Scraw: Poor man my ass. He definitely is responsible.
GM: As you’re walking through the gardens having this discussion and dragging and carrying your finds back, out of the corner of your eye, Tobe, you see the little girl that you were going to meet up with earlier. Um, but as soon as she sees you and sees who you’re carrying …
Oz: I feel like Oz has just been hanging out here the entire time.
Tobe: {laughs} Probably. I left Oz behind.
GM: She’s probably been feeding him grapes and stuff. They’re just having a chill time. You know what? Oz is on the top of her head. That’s where Oz is at.
Oz: “[cawing] It’s about bloody time!”
{laughs}
Oz: “She keeps trying to feed me grapes.”
Tobe: “I can see that you’re…”
Oz: “I HATE GRAPES!”
{laughs}
Tobe: “YOU DON’T HAVE TO EAT THEM!”
Oz: “SHE’S SO CUTE!”
Tobe: “Well …”
{laughs}
Oz: “How can I not?”
Tobe: “That’s our fault, not mine {laughs}. You could have some self control and not eat this food you apparently dislike.”
Oz: You say this as you see him bend down and peck another grape out of her upstretched hand and he glares at you as he swallows it.
Tobe: I just squint back at him. “Don’t like them.”
[Oz caws]
Tobe: “Don’t eat them.”
Oz: “[caws] I’m trying to make a good impression for you.”
Tobe: “{groans}” Does this little girl even know that it’s my raven?
Oz: Yes, because he brought her to you.
Princess Dax: As soon as this little girl makes the connection and see who you have over your shoulder, she stops and she just goes. “{gasp}” She bolts. She runs towards the castle, faster than any of you could combined. She is fast.
Tobe: “Well, I think they’re going to know that we’re coming.”
Scraw: “Well, that’s good. Myx needs help.”
Tobe: “She certainly does.” I readjust my grip on her a little bit and start walking a little faster towards the castle.
GM: As you’re walking through to the garden, back towards the castle, you start seeing people again. The wedding has definitely has not gone according to plan as there’s been no ceremony yet, so people have gotten a little restless.
The wedding hasn’t necessarily not, not happened yet, but no one knows what’s going on at the moment, so there are people strolling and they’ve been trying to contain any panic that could arise from their being a missing groom. But, people know something isn’t right and people have been getting antsy. So, they’re walking around the gardens. They’re not just sitting around and waiting. They’re just trying to pass the time and they see the group of you strolling through as you are and …
Scraw: And Scraw is wearing his shimmery, glittery pants and he’s wiggling his hips as he drags the …
{laughs}
Scraw: … probably not too happy tiefling guy, as he drags him along the ground. Every time he wiggles his hips one direction, he yanks him and then he wiggles his hips the other direction, he yanks him.
{laughs}
Scraw: [boopf, boopf, boopf]
Mhurren: As this happens, and I notice all the other people in the garden, I look at Scraw and I go, “Um, we probably should stop dragging him.”
Scraw: “I don’t think we should.”
Mhurren: “Well …”
Scraw: [boopf]
{laughs}
Mhurren: “I think it would be a bad impression for us all.”
Scraw: “Mmm {contemplative}. I think it’s probably a worse impression for him!”
[boopf, boopf, boopf]
{laughs}
Tobe: I am doing nothing to interrupt this.
Mhurren: I’m going to go and just try and get the guy up.
Tobe: Whilst he’s being dragged along the floor.
Mhurren: I’m going to try and take the rope from Scraw.
Scraw: It’s not a long rope. The rope is wrapped around his legs and I’m holding one of the loops. I may as well be holding his foot.
Mhurren: “I think it would be wise. We don’t need to make such a grand entrance.”
Scraw: “I don’t know what you’re talking about {laughs}. Sorry.”
Mhurren: “It would be causing more panic otherwise. You have to understand.”
Scraw: I am not convinced.
Tobe: Tobe is doing nothing to aid you either.
Scraw: I’m starting to narrow my eyes at Mhurren. “You’ll want to move now.”
Mhurren: “I’ll step aside.”
Scraw: “Thank you!” [bhoosh, boosh, boosh].
Tobe: {laughs} Meanwhile, I’ve just continued walking off ahead.
Mhurren: During this commotion can I just pull the guy’s hood up just to hide his face?
Tobe: His face is currently dragging on the ground. No one can see it.
GM: I mean, you could, but the second that Scraw starts walking again …
Scraw: It’s gonna come off.
GM: Yeah.
Mhurren: I assume that is caked in mud and what have you. That’s fine.
GM: Yes. There is mud. There are bits of wheat that were flown around and landed on the ground.
Mhurren: As we’re walking through the garden, we’re seeing all the people in the, you know … I’m just kind of like smiling nervously.
GM: They look offended.
Mhurren: I do a weird ass curtsy.
GM: They look even more offended. How dare you.
Mhurren: I’ll just move on.
GM: And as I assume Scraw has resumed dragging …
Scraw: Just continue walking towards the building, following Tobe where he’s carrying Myx.
GM: Tobe, you stop because just in front of you is one of the palace guards. This particular guard is very tall. He’s towering over you. He is looking down at you and looking between Tobe and Scraw and …
Scraw: Scraw drags the guy up next to Tobe, because presumably the guy’s stopping us from proceeding.
GM: Yes.
Scraw: Scraw continues walking forwards towards the guard and with Tobe carrying Myx over his shoulders, piggy backing him and he drags the guy up to the guard.
Guard: “What’s the meaning of this?”
Scraw: “Table for three? Where is your cleric? Obviously we need them.”
Tobe: “Uh, yes, um. Could you tell Princess Maricara that we’re here and that we’ve found Myx and we need to get her to a healer immediately.”
GM: As Myx is, has been piggied back on her shoulder, we’re going to say that her head is down and her hair is over her head. There’s little bits of leaves and branches everywhere. So, the guard doesn’t immediately recognize who’s over your shoulder, so he lifts up her head, gently, he’s not trying to harm her. Just trying to have a look at who she is.
Scraw: “{growls} I said …”
GM: And as soon as he realizes exactly who this is.
Scraw: {menacingly}“Cleric.”
Guard: “Um, um, y-yes. Of course. Uh, b-b-but follow me!” And he escorts you back to the castle.
Scraw: [boosh, boosh, boosh, boosh, boosh] Stairs.
GM: Yeah.
{laughs}
Mhurren: Oh, god.
Tobe: You’re like deliberately knocking the guy’s head on the stairs {laughs}.
{laughs}
Mhurren: {sighs}
Tiefling Guy: “Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow, Ow.”
Scraw: I think we gagged him when we tied him up as well, which is why he’s not screaming and cursing.
GM: I was trying to figure out if he should be.
Mhurren: Or maybe he’s just unconscious now.
{laughs}
Scraw: No, he’s not unconscious.
Mhurren: He’s not suffered enough yet.
{laughs}
GM: Maybe he’s given up. He’s, “Use me like a rag doll. I don’t care”
Tobe: That could go very poorly.
GM: You might not have noticed this, because you’re still, you’re not quite outside the palace. But you are on your way. The very tall, very brutish guard sends a little messenger bird ahead so that he can actually get to the palace and have the cleric ready, downstairs waiting for you to treat you.
Scraw: We go up the palace steps. [doosh, doosh, doosh, doosh, doosh]
{laughs}
Scraw: Walk back down the palace steps. [doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot]
{laughs}
Mhurren: {laughs} “S-s-Scraw, I think that’s quite enough.”
Scraw: Back up them.
{laughs}
Scraw: “I-I thought I dropped something. Sorry.”
GM: He’s unconscious at this point, man. The last set of stairs you went down before you’re at the palace gates, he’s out. He can’t deal with this shit no more.
Scraw: [doosh, doosh, doosh, doosh, doosh, doosh]
{laughs}
Tobe: “Scraw!”
Scraw: “I dropped him!”
Tobe: “We need him alive. You’re going to …”
Scraw: “He’s not gonna die from falling down a couple of stairs, unless I throw him.”
Tobe: “Stop.”
Scraw: “Hey, wait a minute.”
Tobe: “Stop. No. Mhurren!”
Scraw: “It’s fine. It’s fine.” If he’s unconscious now, Scraw just picks him up, throws him over his shoulder.
GM: He has worms wriggling in his hair.
Scraw: Good.
GM: That were picked up while he was {laughs} dragged through the mud.
{laughs}
Scraw: He deserves it.
Tobe: He’s probably very, very bruised and bloody by now, I’d imagine.
GM: Very bruised.
Scraw: If he’s unconscious he’s definitely seriously injured {laughs} in the facial region.
GM: He’s got a good concussion.
Tobe: He’s got a broken nose.
GM: He’s been bashed about.
Mhurren: Consider me uncharmed.
{laughs}
Tobe: No longer attractive.
Mhurren: “Mmmm.”
GM: Yeah, so, you get to the very front of the palace and waiting for you is a royal cleric and you can tell by his robes. The cleric rushes before you before anyone else, looks at you, Scraw. He sticks out his arms.
Scraw: Scraw points at Tobe carrying Myx. “No, no. I don’t need healing. There. And this one does not need healing yet. Myx.”
GM:Royal Cleric: The cleric looks over at Tobe and looks like he realized his error and just goes, “{frustrated grunt},” and runs over to Tobe, puts his hands out in front of you, giving you the impression that he wants you to place Myx in his arms.
Tobe: Um, I crouch down instead of dropping Myx again {laughs}. Um, carefully take her down from piggybacking and then …
GM: This cleric takes on Myx no problem. It’s almost as if there’s no actual weight resting on his arms. He very carefully takes her away and into the castle to the sanctum room.
Scraw: As he starts walking away with Myx, Scraw starts following after with the unconscious guy. “No, no, we just went to find her. You’re not leaving with her.”
Tobe: Yeah, Tobe is as well.
GM: The sanctum room is part of the castle, but it’s almost the conservatory. It’s part of the castle, but it’s still outside and it’s attached. So …
Scraw: Like a beer garden.
GM: Yeah, but it’s facing the back, which you haven’t been to yet. It’s a really, really opulent conservatory. May as well just be a small chapel.
Scraw: Is there any water in here?
GM: Yeah, there would be, I suppose, a fountain running.
Scraw: Okay. I dunk the guy in it, repeatedly, to clean off some of the mud. I’m not trying to drown him. I dunk him in the water and I swish him around a bit, like a toilet brush.
{laughs}
Scraw: Swish out some of the worms. He’s still scratched up and beaten, bruised, and I’m like, “Eh.”
GM: He’s still beaten and bruised and some of his hair’s gotten really matted and knotted. So his once silky, luxurious, long, black hair just looks like a rat’s nest.
Scraw: Scraw turns to the cleric, thinking suddenly. He’s like, “Tha-that wasn’t holy, was it?”
GM: The cleric just looks at what you’ve done and shakes his head.
Scraw: “I was doing medicine.”
GM: He rolls his eyes.
Tobe: “Sure you were.”
Scraw: “I’m a doctor?”
{laughs}
Mhurren: Nope.
Tobe: I facepalm.
Scraw: “It works for Erbak!”
{laughs}
Tobe: “Maybe because he actually knows at least something about healing.”
Scraw: “I learned this one from Erbak!” And he dunks the guy again. {laughs}
Tobe: “I don’t think … No. I don’t think that’s what Erbak actually did. I’m pretty sure I recall him slapping someone. But let’s not do that either.”
Scraw: “Very well.”
Mhurren: “Scraw … S-Scraw.”
Scraw: “I’M HELPING!”
Mhurren: “Scraw …”
Scraw: “Stop yelling at me!”
Mhurren: “I think you’ve blessed him enough.”
GM: As you’ve been discussing and shouting and splashing water at things and people …
{laughs}
GM: Myx is awake. It didn’t take the cleric very long at all. Long enough for you guys to be distracted. And, Myx is sitting up on the table.
Tobe: “Myx!”
Myx: {happily}”Tobe!”
Tobe: I instantly stop paying attention to what Scraw is doing. My priorities have shifted.
Myx: And Myx runs up and gives Tobe a really big hug because, {Excitedly}”You found me! Oh, my … You found me!”
Tobe: I hug her back very tight. So tightly that even Myx isn’t used to this kind of affection from Tobe.
Myx: And then Myx is just looking up at Tobe with, “Ah, you found me, yay!”
Scraw: I’m watching the embrace. I wait for them to stop hugging and I pull up the tiefling guy by his horns and go, “And we found this!”
Myx: Myx looks up, “Scraw! Oh, oh, w-wait one moment.” And she looks over at Mhurren. “Mhurren!” And she gives Mhurren a really big hug. “Thank you!”
Mhurren: “Oh, we’re just glad you’re safe.”
Myx: “I’m glad you’re safe!”
Scraw: “Why wouldn’t we be safe?”
Myx: “I don’t know. You guys always seem to get up to trouble.”
Scraw: “That’s true. But, we’ve never been in danger and that’s the important difference.” And he’s saying this whilst holding this guy by his tiefling horns.
{laughs}
GM: Myx gives Mhurren a good old squeeze. and then comes over to you.
Scraw: “We found you in a tree.”
Mhurren: “That’s true.”
Tobe: The way that Scraw is holding up this tiefling is actually making Tobe a bit uncomfortable.”
Mhurren: “S-Scraw, I think you can put him down now.”
Tobe: I’m just imagining how unpleasant it is to be held up by the horns.
GM: So, Myx, because Scraw is one-handed holding …
Scraw: Two hands, like a jug.
GM: Two hands, okay, like a jug, cool. She runs over and squeezes Scraw around the middle whilst he’s holding the tiefling.
Scraw: I drop the guy and I hug you. “Aww … I’m glad you’re safe. You were in a tree.”
Myx:GM: “Is that why?” She shakes her hair a little bit and leaves just keep falling out.
Scraw: “Yes, yes. That’s probably why.”
Myx: “Well that explains it.”
Scraw: “This man is responsible for it. Do you know who he is?”
Myx: “{sighs} I- {sighs}”
Tobe: “Do you even recognize him for how bloodied and bruised his face {laughs} is now?”
Scraw: “Cleric man, can you fix this?” He hoists the tied up, bound tiefling by his shoulders and hold him out at arm’s lengths.
GM: The cleric looks and nods, comes over and what he does, he stands before the tiefling and he brings his two forearms together in front of his face. When he pulls them away, and he does this very slowly, as he pulls away, the bruising and the mess and anything that look like an injury melt away.
Scraw: “Oh, you’re a hairdresser too? Interesting.”
{laughs}
Scraw: “It is quite a talent you have there.”
GM: He looks very proud of himself at the moment.
Scraw: As the guy presumably comes to consciousness, Scraw starts shaking him so that he knows he’s not okay yet. He’s just conscious. And then he turns to Myx. “Him. Do you recognize him?”
Myx: “I- {sighs} I do, but I don’t- I {sighs}. I still don’t know who he is. Like, here’s the thing. Um, you know the other night. I-it was last, i-it was last night. You know?”
Scraw: “It was a good time.”
Myx: “It was such a good time. Oh, my god. Um …”
Mhurren: “There was a bar!”
Myx: “There were many bars.”
Tobe: “Okay, guys, guys. Ca-can we, c-can we continue trying to figure out what actually happened? Rather than going into how drunk we all were?”
Scraw: “We’re getting to it Tobe! Relax.”
Myx: “Yeah, Tobe, relax.”
{laughs}
Scraw: “Myx is fine now.”
Tobe: “We can talk about being sloshed later, whilst we’re getting sloshed.”
Scraw: “Myx was at the bar when she went missing. It’s an important plot point.”
Tobe: “{disapproving groan}”
Myx: “Yeah, so … Um, okay, right. So, it was getting late and, you know, I-I-I’d had a few, let’s, let, we’re … Let’s not kid anyone. And, you know, I decided that I needed some fresh air because I started coming back down to earth and I started realizing what was about to happen.”
Scraw: “{gasps} You got cold feet.”
Myx:GM: “I-I-I-I wouldn’t call it that.” Myx is looking at her feet sheepishly.
{laughs}
Myx: “I-I- {sighs} I mean it’s a big decision. It’s a really big decision.”
Scraw: “That’s true.”
Myx: “And, so …”
Scraw: “I don’t even remember meeting this princess before you were going to marry her, so, ehm, sounds like a very big decision.”
Myx: “I mean, I-I would have introduced you guys sooner, but I-I don’t … I like keeping my love life to myself. Okay? Okay.”
Scraw: “That’s fine. No judgement. I’m surprised you didn’t tell Tobe, though.”
Tobe: I suddenly look really betrayed.
{laughs}
Myx: “Oh. N-no, Tobe. I just, I- I didn’t think you’d want to know about that kind of stuff. Anyway, I {sighs}. I just really needed to get some air and I went outside. I didn’t even go very far. I just went to go and sit on the grass because the sky was really beautiful last night, guys. It was really … And most of you’d already passed out and Scraw, you were, you were trying to chat up some guard.”
Scraw: “You probably should have taken a guard with you.”
Myx: “{indignant} I can handle things!”
Scraw: “Really?”
Tobe: “Um … clearly?”
Myx: “Well, I have you guys, right? I can handle anything.”
Scraw: “You should have taken one of us with you then.”
Tobe: “Yeah, exactly.”
Myx: “Well, Mhurren and Tobe were already passed out and, Scraw, you seemed determined to show that guard how well you could handle your …”
Scraw: “Well, you’d stopped keeping up with me. Who’s to blame here? Let’s be honest.”
Myx: “Not me.”
Scraw: “Uh-huh?”
Tobe: “I think, maybe, all of us were to blame.”
Scraw: “The person that went out on their own and didn’t want to drink with me anymore, well, hmm? Yeah? Hmm?”
Myx: “Mmm, mm-nmmm {negative}. See you too, Scraw.”
Scraw: “Mmm? Mmm?”
Myx: “Nyeh.”
Tobe: “O-o-okay. Okay.”
Scraw: “We found you in a tree!”
Myx: “If …I didn’t expect to be in a tree!”
Tobe: “Moving on with the kidnapping.”
Myx: “I was just sitting outside in the grass just looking up at the stars, ’cause it was … It was a really nice night and the air was nice and cool and i-it was just nice. And then, all of a sudden, this man, this, him …” and she points at the tiefling that …
Scraw: [shake, shake, shake, shake, shake]
Myx: {laughs} Yeah. {laughs} “He sat down next to me. He was asking me if I was okay, and yeah, I just remember he was talking to me and trying to, I guess, calm my nerves down. But I don’t … I dont remember what happened after that. I mean, it seemed like we were just like chatting and stuff, and I was starting to feel better about the whole wedding thing, and now I’m here.”
Scraw: “Do you remember two very small, very annoying people?”
Myx: “No.”
Scraw: “Hmm, yes. He must have magiced you. I think that’s how that works. Magic!”
Tobe: “Uh …”
Scraw: “You’re some kind of demon!”
GM: He rolls his eyes.
Mhurren: “Well, we could just ask him.”
Scraw: “I just did.”
Tiefling Guy: “[muffled noises]”
Mhurren: I’m going to pull the gag up.
Scraw: “W-w-w-wait, wait, wait. We should find Princess Maricara first.”
Tobe: “I did ask the guard.”
Scraw: “She deserves to hear whatever this man has to say.”
Tiefling Guy: “[frustrated growls]” Whilst this going on and you guys are wondering where the Princess is, speak of the deviless, she comes to the room, and she bursts in.
Princess Maricara:“Oh! Is M- … I-is Myx back?!” And she sees everyone in the room and she starts crying. “{sobbing}”
Tobe: “Uh, Myx?”
Scraw: Well, that’s Myx’s cue.
Tobe: Yeah. “Myx, I think you need to go and console your bride.”
GM: And Myx …
Scraw: “Wait! You’re not supposed to see each other.”
Myx: “Scraw …”
Scraw: “It’s bad luck!”
{laughs}
Mhurren: “I think we’re past that now.”
Tobe: “Yeah, I think some bad luck happened last night.”
GM: She’s not even in her wedding dress. She still has her pajamas on because she’s just so distraught that she didn’t …
Scraw: She came down to meet us and we were gone. {laughs}
{laughs}
Scraw: Fucking dickbags.
Tobe: Yeah but we still got the job done … Yep.
Scraw: This is how we do, yo.
Princess Maricara: Myx goes over to Princess Maricara and just hugs her. Princess Maricara actually pulls back and shoves Myx. “H-how dare you!? And w-where were you?! I don’t … I don’t understand. What? W-why would you do this to me?”
Scraw: “Princess Maricara, who is this man?”
Princess Maricara: “Wh-what man?”
Scraw: “This man!” [shake, shake, shake, shake]
Princess Maricara: [jingle, jingle, jingle] {laughs} “I-it can’t be! I …”
Scraw: “Who is this man? He, he took Myx.”
Princess Maricara: “{stammers} What?!”
Scraw: “He kidnapped her.”
Princess Maricara: “Eh!”
Scraw: “Who is he?”
Princess Maricara: “H-his name is Vali.”
Scraw: “Vali. That’s a stupid name.”
Tobe: “Who is Vali?”
Princess Maricara: “H-h-his name is, is Princess Vali. And he’s, ugh, I-I hate to say that he, he’s my ex.”
Scraw: “Well, shall we just drown him now?”
Mhurren: “Oh, boy.”
Princess Maricara: “Well, no, o-o-of course not. No. No, no, no.”
Scraw: “He kidnapped Myx. And he hurt her. And he left her for dead in a forest. I do not like this man.”
Princess Maricara: She believes you. “But, {sighs}. It just doesn’t sound like, that he would … Ugh, I mean. He, he, ugh. He was nothing like that.”
Scraw: Scraw leans in and goes, “Jealous much.”
{laughs}
Princess Maricara: “I mean, clearly.” She doesn’t believe what she’s seeing. She believes Scraw but she also can’t believe that this is happening.
Scraw: “Well, the good news is … We can have a wedding and a hanging.”
Tobe: {laughs} Tobe just facepalms for the lack of tact.
Princess Maricara: “Well, no, I don- {sighs} I don’t want you … No. I don’t want him to die.”
Scraw: “Well then, we should probably just throw him in your dungeon. You do HAVE a dungeon in the palace, yes?”
Princess Maricara: “Yes.”
Scraw: “Well, then I suppose that’s where he should spend the rest of his days.”
Mhurren: “At least so he doesn’t cause any more trouble.”
Princess Maricara: “Well, I mean, I just, {sighs}.”
Scraw: “Why don’t we find out what your parents have to say about this?”
Tobe: “Yeah. That … Shouldn’t we taking this guy to the king?”
Scraw: “And the queen. Princess Maricara, on the way to the queen and the king, are there any stairs?”
GM: They are in the back garden, which is actually accessible via the back of the sanctum/chapel/conservatory bit. It’s a private garden. It’s only accessible to members of the royal household. And here you find the King, i.e. Myx’s father, and the queen, Maricara’s mother.
Mhurren: I do a curtsy as as I enter.
Scraw: Scraw follows Maricara over to the royal family and bows very cordially, and makes the guy that he has still bound in rope bow also.
Tobe: And I bow as well.
Scraw: And then drops him on his face.
{laughs}
GM: The king and queen look really confused at the scene, ’cause at this point Myx looks fine and …
Scraw: We spend the time explaining to the king and queen everything that we know about what has happened so far and then we say, “This man is responsible for the, the absence of your daughter. And of Maricara’s groom. But worry not! We found her and the wedding is on.”
Tobe: “And the assailant caught.”
Princess Maricara: “A-a-a-a-about that wedding,” and Maricara starts looking at you all and more specifically she looks at her mother. “I-I don’t think there should be a wedding anymore.”
Queen: And her mother looks at her like, “What!?” She looks like she’s going to have a heart palpitation. She has worked too hard for this wedding. This, this wedding … The queen wants this wedding to happen.
Princess Maricara: Maricara walks over to Myx, “Myx, I, {sighs} he still loves me and I, ugh, I …”
Scraw: “Well, that’s fine because he’s gonna be dead soon.”
Princess Maricara: “{stammers} Scraw he’s not going to be dead. Myx, y-your friends are awfully aggressive.”
Tobe: “Well, he did kidnap our friend.”
Scraw: “Queen, Queen Maricara’s mother, does your country not enforce penalties for criminals?”
Queen: “Well, of course.”
Scraw: “Well then, we have a very, very guilty person who has kidnapped royalty.”
Tobe: “{confused}Yeah.”
Queen: “He is royalty.”
Scraw: “He kidnapped royalty. That doesn’t make it excusable.”
Queen: “Doesn’t make …”
Scraw: “He literally came into your home, took your daughter’s groom-to-be, took her unconscious and left her for dead.”
Tobe: “Tied to a tree.”
Scraw: “This is an inexcusable crime.”
GM: The queen walks up to Scraw and puts her hand …
Scraw: “Myx is blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.”
GM: … over Scraw’s mouth.”
{laughs}
Scraw: “King Myx’s dad, you will not let this happen!”
King: The king look at Scraw and looks at Myx. He’s very conflicted because ultimately, this marriage would have been really, really convenient for the two kingdoms. You have no idea how convenient. But, he looks over everyone and he goes to Myx. “Darling, is this what you want?” He’s looking at her, waiting for her to say something and
Myx: Myx just looks at her father and, “Well, honestly? I just want to be with my friends. They, they didn’t know where I was but they, {sighs}, they went over hills and rivers and, and on a bridge and some, some wierd troll things, all to find me.”
{laughs}
Myx: “And they brought me back, and I-I don’t’ want to get married and live in a palace and not get to go adventure and be with them. I mean …” Myx and Maricara look at each other and there’s this weird understanding that they experience.
GM: They are on the same wavelength of Maricara isn’t sure that she wants to get married because if her ex loved her this much, maybe she still has feelings, and Myx …
Tobe: Also maybe he’s crazy.
GM: I mean, it could be.
Scraw: That’s some gaslighting bullshit.
GM: Maybe she never got over him, who knows.
Scraw: Scraw hears Myx saying that she doesn’t want to leave her friends behind and don’t go adventuring and he walks over and says, “Myx, we’re lucky to have you.”
Myx: “Aw, Scraw.” She hugs them and she also grabs Mhurren and she won’t grab Tobe because she loves Tobe but is respectful of maybe he doesn’t want to be in a group hug.
Scraw: “Maricara!” After we finish hugging, I’m going to say, “I believe you owe us, because we don’t work for free.”
Tobe: “Uh, and you are kind of choosing some crazy guy who kidnapped Myx over Myx. I mean, he should still definitely be punished for that whether you love him or not.”
Scraw: “He should definitely be punished.”
Mhurren: “Wouldn’t … Wouldn’t you like to know what he has to say for himself?”
Scraw: “No.”
Tobe: “Yeah, actually.”
Mhurren: “Myx? Princess Maricara?”
Myx:GM: “Uh, to be honest, I mean, g-good luck to them.” Myx isn’t really interested in what …
Scraw: “Surely you’ve got something for the trouble you’ve put us through?”
Princess Maricara: “Well … I-I-I was going to give you these as gifts before you ran off, but y-y-you never saw me before going, uh, ah, out of the castle grounds.”
Scraw: “We were concerned for our friend.”
Mhurren: “Forgive us.” I curtsy.
GM: She pulls out like a small jewelry box.
Mhurren: Brooches.
GM: Princess Maricara: Yeah. And they carry her insignia on them, and she gifts one to each of you. Maricara just looks at you after pinning the brooch on each of you. “I-I-I know you’ve gone through a, a lot of trouble, but these, these will help you and just, thank, thank you for trying, but it’s time for you to go home now.”
Ray:GM: And you’re all blinded by a flash of light. You’re not sure how much time has passed, but Tobe, Mhurren, Scraw, you all find yourselves blinking awake and you look around and you’ve been sleeping pretty rough recently. You’re stiff, you’re sore. And you hear the rumbling of cart wheels. You look up and see the familiar faces of the tieflings that have agreed to drive you to Elturel along with the lizardfolk woman who is their leader. And Erbak turns to you all and says …
Erbak: “Well, I hope you all slept well. {Annoyed} Been snoring like beasts ever since we left the camp.”
Ray:GM: And as you look at one another, you notice, you’re wearing these weird pins, brooches? You don’t remember getting them. And you don’t remember ever seeing them before. You don’t even really remember getting on the cart? But you’re here now. So, are the pins.
[gentle music]
Ray:Host: And that’s where we’ll pick up next time. But we’re not done just yet. This month is Women In Tabletop Gaming month, and as promised, we now have aninterview with your recent Game Master. Take it away.
Ray: Hi, Nina.
Nina: Hello.
Ray: So, you are usually in the player’s seat as Myx, and this time ’round, you have been running the game as the DM for the first time. I believe this is your first running a game, was it not?
Nina: Yes, it was.
Ray: How did you find it?
Nina: There was pre the game and post game. Pregame was terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. Post game, it was really rewarding and a lot of fun.
Ray: So, as a first-time Game Master, coming in blind can be really intimidating, as I’m sure you’ve found out. The moment of absolute terror when your players sit and wait in silence, expecting you to say something and tell them what’s going to happen can be very overwhelming when you are unprepared. So, having a module such as the one that we used, written by H. H. Carlan, for a one shot, can be really, really helpful. Serves to streamline a lot of things. Did you feel like having access to that made things easier?
Nina: Absolutely. It was, it was a blessing to have it because I was able to look at it and it basically gave me inspiration and gave me things to kind of jump off of and it just … It gave me a direction when I didn’t have one.
Ray: So what sort of things did you do to prepare for your first game?
Nina: Well, I had a readthrough of the material, first off, to see how I could incorporate it with our current campaign, and more importantly, with our characters, to make sure nothing was too outlandish to expect of the players. I also had a look at things like the type of encounters that could have happened and, you know, what stats. The- any potential adversaries might have. So, using things like the monster manual to check what are bridge trolls like? What are bandits like? What is …
Ray: Just in case a bridge troll might get somebody who wants to fight it, even if it’s a teacup troll.
Nina: Yeah. In that event, it would have been interesting.
Ray: It’s always necessary to have the stats.
Nina: Yeah. It really just gave me things to go off of, especially if there was going to be a constitution check or what have you. I actually drew myself a mini-timeline as well. So, when I read through the material and I had a rough idea of how I intended point A, the beginning and the end to sort of end up, and that helped a lot.
Ray: Yeah, because obviously you were trying to keep it so that we got to the end within a one shot game. Most first-time DMs struggle with pacing one shots in general. I think you did a very good job with that one, all considering …
Nina: Oh, thank you.
Ray: … players you had to deal with.
{laughs}
Ray: So, overall, the one shot that we ran, what did you like most about it?
Nina: I think what I liked most, genuinely, was the premise of the one shot and the fact that it was just really fun. It just felt very different in tone from what we normally do.
Ray: I think it’s potentially because a lot of the encounters are very specifically written so that they’re not combat oriented, right?
Nina: Yeah, I mean, this one shot does give you the option of being slightly more combat heavy, but I wanted to go the opposite route which it allows you to do as well, which was great. But, I think, number one, and above everything else, the fact that all of my players were princesses was just chef kiss to that.
Ray: And I think all of us were totally up for that. We all leaned into it quite heavily.
Nina: Which I was so, so glad for.
Ray: What was the most helpful thing about the module, especially as a first time GM?
Nina: I guess that the thing that I found most helpful ultimately was that when you read through it, it kind of plays like almost like a multiple choice scenario.
Ray: A choose your own adventure?
Nina: Yeah, exactly. And that was so nice, because you could read through the different possible scenarios, but were also encouraged to make up your own. And, again, if anyone read the original and then listened to our version, I definitely deviated a bit, which I was concerned about.
Ray: That’s actually fairly standard. I think, especially first time Game Masters, we have this fear, this tendency to not deviate from the source material. You get a module, you get a brand new campaign, and you feel like you have to run it exactly the way it’s written or you’re not telling the real story. And ultimately, I think what you begin to learn and perhaps you felt the same way, is that the story that’s written down isn’t really the story you’re telling. The story that you’re telling is the story that you develop between your friends.
Nina: Yeah. And I think that that was something that took me a little bit of time to grasp, but at the same time, once I did, I was like, “Oh, that’s how this works.”
Ray: Yeah.
Nina: Okay. Let’s, yeah, okay. I like this.
Ray: I think you’re right in that the module being a quite flexible module, one that you can piece together, keep the bits that you like and it seems like … I haven’t actually read it all the way through myself, especially not the revised versions, but it sounds like it’s written in such a way that it’s basically here are some things that can happen. If you don’t like them, chuck them away. Take the bits you do like and leave everything else behind.
Nina: I think that’s the thing is in my, because I printed it out so I had it in front of me a little bit more easily and I have little notes on the sheets like circling different scenarios and different character names so that when I look through it, I knew which route I was trying to take, but again, I very much deviated quite a bit.
Ray: From the sounds of it, the module is intentionally designed to push you in that direction. And I think for a first time GM, that’s actually really great, because it gives you the tool set you need, perhaps, to become a more flexible, self-driven storyteller.
Nina: I think that’s the thing is, I know that in an ideal world where I had the time, I’d love to build like my own campaign. I don’t really have the time and after running this as my first game, I don’t think I’d do it any other way, because it just, it was kind of like having this safety net where if I run out of ideas for whatever reason, I could just glance at of my notes and hey, look, someone has actually given me enough material to just, again, just bounce off of, work with, and that was incredibly helpful.
Ray: Especially when your players insist on doing things that you did not expect.
Nina: {groans} players.
Ray: What would have been helpful in the module to have that you didn’t have.
Nina: I think the only thing, and this is actually thinking about what we just said a minute ago is having a reminder that things won’t always go your way. I think that’s actually something that’s incredibly important to keep in mind as a first time GM.
Ray: What problems did you encounter that you didn’t expect?
Nina: “Oh, the players.”
{laughs}
Nina: I had a very specific idea for how I wanted to pace things and what decisions I wanted people to make. And for the most part, they were doing that. But, it got to a point where certain characters were very stubborn about things and it took a good night’s rest to realize that I just had to let it go and let them do that. What was the question again?
{laughs}
Ray: What problem did you encounter that you didn’t expect?
Nina: Honestly, I do think it was not realizing quite how much I paved the way I think the game would go in my head. I hadn’t actually pieced that together until I realized it wasn’t going that way. And then, again, learning to let go of that.
Ray: So, when you did encounter this problem, what did you do to solve it?
Nina: Just take a breath and ad lib.
Ray: And I think that’s a crucial skill for every game master and player.
Nina: Oh, for sure.
Ray: It’s something that everybody benefits from, really.
Nina: I think I was better at it than I expected to be, because one of my biggest fears prior to starting the sessions was what do I do if I’m on the spot, and what do I do if I don’t remember this or I can’t think of this. And, yeah, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be. It was actually okay.
Ray: One of my questions was going to be what were you most afraid of?
Nina: There were a couple of things I was most afraid of. I had a long list of things I was most afraid of {laughs}. Number one was, honestly, doing voices. It’s something that I know you know, but for whatever reason, I am incredibly uncomfortable with doing. So, being in a position where I felt like a DM has to be able to make funny voices or to make characters sound different.
Ray: Yeah, so that you know who you’re talking to. So that each person has a personality and a life behind them.
Nina: Yeah, exactly. So you’re not just monotone the whole time. That was terrifying, but, especially I think doing Maricara crying. I was just like, “Ugh, I’m going to sound so awful. I’m going to sound …” I didn’t know how my bridge trolls would sound to other people, but they seemed to really enjoy them, so that worked out.
{laughs}
Nina: Um, but yeah, doing voices was high up there on my I’m terrified of this scale.
Ray: To streamline the question …
Nina: Yes.
Ray: What were you most afraid of happening in the game?
Nina: I think in that respect, my number one fear was people not enjoying, not having fun, because that’s the one thing that I wanted to bring out when I did this is I wanted people to enjoy it. I wanted them to have a slightly different experience.
Ray: Well, I was going to say, did it happen or did it come up, but speaking as somebody who was a player for this game, I can quite strongly say that no it did not happen, because everybody had fun. We had a really, really good time.
Nina: Well, I am glad and I think even though I was really scared, nervous and gave myself a massive headache about it, I really enjoyed it as well.
Ray: So, last question then is how was your overall experience running a game for the first time and would you do it again?
Nina: It was mortifying, but very, very satisfying and I definitely think I would do it again. Having done it, I absolutely recommend it to anyone who’s on the fence about whether or not they could do it or should do it or are worried about anything that could potentially stop them from doing them. I definitely think it’s worth it.
Ray: Well, thank you very much for your time this evening.
Nina: Thank you for your time.
Ray: And thank you for running the game for us in first place. I have no doubt in my mind that our listeners have been enjoying this escapade. We’ve had some very positive feedback. And if this particular episode is where you have joined Tails From the Dark Dragon’s Inn, I’m very, very sorry.
{laughs}
Ray: It’s about to get a whole lot grimmer.
Nina: I was just, yeah, imagining someone coming in and listening to the princesses and the trolls and then going back to …
Ray: And then switching to the next episode.
Nina: Yeah.
Ray: Which you should join us for. It is Season 2, Episode 1: A Dire Journey.
Nina: Wooo. Season 2.
Ray: Until next time, travel safe and remember, in this realm or the next, The Scales of Justice are here for you.
Nina:Ray: Always.
[gentle music]
